“My period’s late,” I said, knowing I could be blunt with my friend.
There was a pause as Sofia processed this, but she recovered quickly and jumped into problem-solving mode. “Okay, that can happen for a lot of reasons. I mean…is there any chance you’re pregnant?” Sofia asked.
I had confided in Sofia about my one-night stand with Jake in the cabin. “No, couldn’t be. I’ve got PCOS. I couldn’t get pregnant after one time of unprotected sex. That would be insanely against the odds.”
“Maybe, but Caitlin got pregnant from one night with Brian. Maybe it runs in the family. Those Thorne men must be pretty virile.”
“Stop,” I said, wanting to clamp my hands over my ears.
“Relax. I was teasing you,” Sofia said. “You’re probably not pregnant, but buy a test and be sure. After you see it’s negative, we’ll have a good laugh at movie night and down the cocktails that Caitlin can’t drink.”
That sounded like a sensible plan. It wouldn’t do to panic without having all the facts. I said goodbye to Sofia and moved a few feet down the aisle to the pregnancy tests. There were so many choices. I started reading boxes. All of them claimed to be highly accurate, but did I want to put my faith in just one test? In the end, I selected three and tossed them in the cart.
My heart was still pounding when I left the store and started the drive home. Of course, a pregnancy would be inconvenient when I was trying to build my veterinary practice, fend off the competition, and manage stud fees for Twister.
I’d have to take maternity leave, which meant hiring a vet to temporarily see to my patients. And once my maternity leave was over, how would I handle childcare? What would happen when emergencies required me to leave home in the middle of the night? I didn’t have any family in the area, and while I had good friends, there was a limit to how much I could ask of them. I’d be a single mom with all the worry and limitations that came with the title.
Calm down, I told myself. My mother would come help me, at least for a while. And she’d be excited about a grandchild. Mom had been with me during those doctor’s visits when I was a teenager and learned that I’d likely never have children. We’d cried together on the drive home, both of us missing something we’d never have.
And who was to say I was even pregnant at all? I was probably getting ahead of myself. My period was late. That happened all the time to women. Sofia was right. This would all blow over, and I’d go on with my life without a hitch because I wasn’t pregnant.
With Jake’s baby.
I huffed out a sigh. I liked him, but that didn’t mean I wanted to have a baby with him. He was exactly the type of man I’d sworn I’d never date again. Bossy, macho, wanting to control everything. I ran through a list of his flaws.
Unbeckoned, a list of his virtues popped into my mind as well, including his kindness, his warmth, his integrity, and also his hands and his mouth and…well. Our night together had really been something. The idea of a new life coming out of that seemed, actually, kind of miraculous and amazing.
I felt a little burst of hope, mingled with fear. Was all of my rationalization because I couldn’t handle the idea of being pregnant—or because I couldn’t handle the idea of beingwrongabout being pregnant? It was something I’d told myself I could never have. If Jake had actually given me this gift, what would that mean for me? For the two of us?
I had no idea how he felt about the idea of fatherhood. Heck, I had no idea how he felt aboutme.That night we’d gone for a drive, I’d believed that he wanted me. Our kiss got heated fast, and if it had continued and led to something else, I wouldn’t have said no to making love with him again in the bed of his truck under the stars.
He’d been the one to back away and I still didn’t know why. He’d made a clear choice, though, and since my ankle healed, he hadn’t shown his face. Not once.
Was that how he’d approach fatherhood? I couldn’t be sure. He was a mix of bravado and insecurity, which I found annoying, but a little fascinating, too. I knew he was close with his nephew, but did being the fun uncle mean he was qualified to be a dad? Did he even want the role? And what would his relationship with me be going forward? Would we be able to coparent without disrupting each other’s lives?
I still had dreams of meeting the right man and falling in love. Children had been off the table for a long time, but I still imagined that it was possible to have an amazing, supportivepartner in my life. How would I meet this man as a single mom? It was possible, I knew that, but a pregnancy meant a huge shift in my priorities.
As I pulled onto my land, I had a sudden image of Jake glaring at my future fiancé who would be stepfather to his child. Or worse, getting along great with my imaginary husband. Though wait, why did that feel even worse? I rubbed my hand over my breastbone and took a deep breath. I was a mess. And there was only one way to resolve it.
I grabbed a bag from the seat next to me, got out of the truck, and opened my front door. Wellington and Fay came running out, circling around me. I paused to pet them briefly on my way to the bathroom with the tests. I’d start the test and unload my groceries while the timer ticked down. Then at least I’d know—and I’d be able to work out a plan from there.
As I closed the bathroom door and looked at myself in the mirror, I forced myself to admit the truth. If the tests were negative, part of me would be relieved and the other disappointed. The idea of having a baby had taken hold of me. I’d get to be a mom. Despite the obvious obstacles, that would be such a blessing.
I opened the first package, determined to know one way or the other.
SIXTEEN
JULIA
My palms were sweaty when I stepped onto the porch at the Thorne Ranch house. When all three tests came back positive, my mood had swung wildly until I sat down and let myself feel the joy of the moment. Fortified by that joy, I’d made a quick call to Sofia to let her know, and then I’d driven over to Jake’s to tell him instead of joining my friends for movie night.
This was too important to wait. I knocked on the front door and waited.
“Julia,” Jake’s mother, Laura Thorne, greeted me with a smile. “I didn’t expect to see you. How’s your ankle?”
“Much better. Thanks. Is Jake around?”
“He went into town on some errands, but he should be back soon. Come in and have a cup of tea.” Laura held the door open for me in invitation.
