She tilts her head, her chin still resting on my chest but her eyes peering up at me. She grins. “I think I should wear your kutte more often.”
“Oh, butterfly. I guarantee it.”
Later, after we’ve both cleaned ourselves up, we climb into bed and I waste no time in drawing her close. I’ve never slept next to anyone before her, let alone cuddle, but I love it. I love how she feels against me, she fits perfectly like she was always meant to be there, like we were made for each other. I love how she feels safe and comfortable in my presence and how safe and comfortable I feel in hers. I love everything about how it feels to be with her.
Kaia’s head rests on my chest, my finger drawing lazy circles over her back, her breaths evening out as she succumbs to the pull of sleep while all I can do is stare up at the ceiling. For me, sleep is impossible, my mind unable to shut up enough to go to sleep.
Listen to your heart, it never lies.
The words written on that tiny scrap of paper I plucked out of the fortune cookie earlier keep playing on my mind. I’venever believed in all that psychic bullshit. I know they’re just random words and they mean nothing, but I can’t shake them. Because they mean something tome.
Kaia twitches slightly beside me and I hold her tighter against me. I watch her eyes dart around behind her eyelids, her lashes flickering. Every time I look at this girl, a girl I shouldn’t want and a girl whodefinitelyshouldn’t want me, I can’t help but think ofwhat if.
What if I delete those photos of her from my phone? What if I erase them from existence andbewith her? Protect her.Loveher. Build a future with her, a future I didn’t think I could ever have.
When I first found out Kaia was the daughter of a man I’ve hated for almost half of my life, all I could think about was hurting him like he hurt me. I didn’t care about the fallout. I didn’t care if Kaia got caught in the crossfire, and now I can’t think of anything else.
The thought makes me sick.
Listen to your heart, it never lies.
Well, my heart is telling me it doesn’t belong to me anymore, it belongs to her. Because Kaiaismy heart. She’s what keeps it beating.
I need her like I need air to breathe. I need her smile to keep me whole and her touch to keep me sane, and above all, I need her love because I’m not sure if I’ll be able to live without it.
“God, I wish I didn’t have to hurt you,” I whisper into the darkness.
“What?” she mumbles, her voice thick with sleep.
Fuck. Fuck.Fuck!She’s still awake.
I comb my fingers through her hair, my heart hammering. “I just mean, at some point I’m gonna hurt you and you’regonna leave me.”
She angles her head up to meet my gaze. She presses her hand against my cheek. “Never.”
37
“I can’t do it.”
The room falls silent the second the words leave my mouth, eight pairs of eyes all darting my way from around the table.
I’ve been building myself up to this all fucking day, trying to figure out the best way to break the news that my plan to bring down Watson royally backfired when I fell in love with his daughter.
Ultimately, there was never a right time, so I opted to ripping the Band-Aid off and getting it over with. Either way, it won’t go down well.
I’ve failed my club. Myfamily. They put their faith in meand I’ve let each and every one of them down.
“Can’t do what?” Myles asks.
“The photos of Kaia. I can’t use them. I can’t do that to her. Iwon’t.”
“…fucking knew it,” Jett mutters under his breath across from me.
I narrow my eyes. “What was that?”
His eyes dart up to mine. “I said I fucking knew it. I knew from the start it was a bad idea. You’ve been dragging this out for months and it’s onlynowyou decide you can’t pull through?”
I’m taken aback by his words. “Why would I drag it out?”
