Her eyes have rolled to the back of her head and a small trail of blood trickles from the corner of her mouth. Her body is locked up, every muscle tensed as she shakes on the floor.
I wrack my brain trying to remember what I learned in school about this type of situation… keep them comfortable… lie them on their side…
I roll her onto her side and make sure she’s still able to breath, and reach into my back pocket for my phone, dialling 9-11.
“Don’t worry, Gracie, I’m here. You’re going to be alright,” I whisper against her ear as I listen to the dial tone.
“9-11 what’s your emergency?”
I wake in a cold sweat, tears staining my pillow, my heart pounding in my chest from the memory of the day when everything changed.
Why didn’t I see it sooner? If I had, I could have gotten her the help she needed sooner and she might still be here.
It’s almost three in the morning, and there’s no hope of me getting back to sleep now, so I decide to give up on sleep all together.
I roll out of bed and head to the kitchen to grab something to drink, plus a sleeping pill.
I crash onto the couch and switch on the TV. I’m not really paying attention to the crappy rom-com that was the first thing that I stumbled on that wasn’t the news, the all night weather channel or repeats ofLaw and Order.
I pop the pill into my mouth and wash it down with some water, swallowing hard.
My mind returns to the dream, the same guilt and doubts hanging like a dark cloud above my head like they did back then.
If I hadn’t have kept pushing, trying to get Grace to admit that she’d be better off without me, maybe I would have seen something was seriously wrong sooner.
The past few weeks with Quinn have made me happier than I thought I could be since before Grace died. But by being with Quinn, allowing her to fall in love with me is the most selfish thing I’ve ever done. I should never have let it go this far.
I can’t allow for Quinn to settle for a man like me. A man that won’t be able to give her everything in life that she deserves.
Like I’ve known all along, she deserves better than me.
And that thought has my heart squeezing painfully, because I honestly can’t imagine my life without her.
Chapter 34
Quinn
Thanksgiving break comes and goes in the blink of an eye and since meeting Dwight’s parents, he’s been a little off. I can’t put my finger on it, but there’s a weird atmosphere between us, a bad feeling settling in my stomach that I just can’t seem to shake.
I thought he’d be happy that his family and I get along.
On the drive home from his parents, he remained silent for most of the journey, his hands clenching the steering wheel, his eyes never wavering from the road in front of him. After the first few attempts at engaging him in conversation I decided to just give up all together. What’s that saying? It’s like trying to get blood out of a stone?
Something was clearly bothering him, but I was reluctant to ask what it was, too scared to, in case that itwasme that was bothering him somehow, but the not knowing worries me just as much.
The past few days, I haven’t seen him at all. When I call or text, all I get back in return is vague answers and one word replies. I haven’t been able to sleep properly since I saw him last, and when I do eventually sleep, my dreams are plagued with doubt and worry.
Have I done something to upset him?
Is it because of what happened at Thanksgiving with his sister?
Has he changed his mind about us?
My mind is swimming as I make my way to class. At least being in his class, he can’t avoid me forever, at some point he’ll have to face me.
As I near the lecture hall, I mentally prepare myself for the worst, that he doesn’t want me anymore.
“Hey,” Amy says catching up with me before slowing to walk beside me.
