“So are you guys like... together then?” she asks.
“We haven’t defined anything yet. I think we’re just seeing where it takes us.”
She frowns. “And you’re okay with that?”
“Quinn, I want him, in any way that I can have him, and I don’t care if that makes me sound like a total idiot. If this is the only way...”
“It’s just... Logan, doesn’t exactlydorelationships and I’m worried about you. As long as you’re sure you know what you’re doing... Just be careful, okay?”
“You sound just like my mom,” I comment, rolling my eyes.
“I just don’t want you ending up hurt.”
“I won’t,” I reply, my voice wavering because I’m not at all sure I’m convinced myself.
“Ames,” Quinn presses. “Are you in love with him?”
I drop my gaze to lap and nod slowly. “Yeah.”
This is the first time I’ve admitted it to myself out loud. I’ve known there was something more than just friendship between us for a while now and that my feelings weren’t just friendship, but I always played them down in case I was reading into things too much, but recently, the feelings I have for him have strengthened, and I can’t deny them anymore.
I think I started falling for him the night my dad died, when we almost kissed, and then after everything happened, he held me, and took care of me during the worst moment of my life. And quite like that night, that day in the garage when he let me cry against his chest, that’s the moment I knew that I loved him.
“Does he know?” Quinn asks.
“No. Of course not, I wouldn’t even know how to tell him if I wanted to. The first night we slept together, he made me promise not to fall in love with him and well, here I am... God, I’m so pathetic.” My face falls into my hands.
Quinn covers my hands with her own. “You’re not pathetic, Ames. But you can’t keep this up because you’re gonna end up hurt. You have to be honest with him about how you feel.”
“But what if he doesn’t want me after I tell him?”
“That’s a chance you’ll have to take. Anyway, who’s to say he doesn’t feel the same?”
“I can’t lose him, Quinn.” My voice cracks. “I just can’t.”
“You have to tell him how you feel.”
“I know. I just don’t know how.”
“The longer you prolong it, the harder it will hurt.”
Deep down I know she’s right. I’m going to have to be honest about how I feel sooner rather than later, but I’m terrified I’ll lose him, and it’s not like we can go back to the way we were, back to when we were just friends, because now I’ve seen what it can be like to bewithhim, I don’t want anything else.
“How’s your mom with all this? I mean, is she okay with it?”
“She likes him, which I guess is a bonus. She’s not completely sold on the idea, with him being older and all, but really, I think she just wants me to be happy.”
“I do too, Ames,” she says with a smile. “Just remember, honestly is the best policy.”
Quinn’s attention is caught by the couple on the table next to us, the woman clasping a tiny baby in her arms, rocking it back and forth as it gurgles and mews in her arms. Quinn watches, and her face morphs into sadness as she takes in the sight in front of her.
“Quinn, you okay?” My voice brings her back to me and she forces a smile.
She goes to speak but hesitates. “I… I never told you about me and Dwight, did I?” I shake my head. She takes a deep breath and swallows hard before continuing. “He can’t have children.”
“What?”
“He tried to have kids with Grace but he wasn’t able to, it caused a rift between them when they were married and he was scared to tell me, scared he’d lose me if I knew the truth.”
