“I can’t leave the car like this, Mom. I want to get it finished, for Dad.”
She nods slowly. “It’ll be expensive, and it still needs a lot of work, but if it’s what you want, who am I to stop you? Get an estimate on how much it’ll cost and the money’s yours.”
“Really?” I ask, wiping away the tears from my wet cheeks.
“He had a fund set by in our joint account with a few thousand in there specially for the restoration. I guess that money’s now yours.”
“Thanks, Mom.” I lean over and wind my arms around her.
“You’re welcome, honey,” she says before getting out of the car.
I reread the letter two more times and cry for what feels like hours. I let them all out until they begin to run dry, and once that happens, I vow to follow his wishes and shed no more tears, making my mind up on what must be done.
I fold up the letter and carefully slide it back into the envelope and place it inside the glovebox for safe keeping.
I’ll do something spectacular, Dad. I’m going to finish fixing up the car and make it something you’d be proud of.
I promise.
Chapter 3
Logan
“All I’m saying is, Lo, are you really going to keep screwing random women until you’re seventy?” Dwight asks, taking a swig of his beer.
I shoot him a look to where he’s sat beside me on my couch. “What? You don’t think I could?”
“Oh, I definitely think you could.” He rolls his eyes. “I’ve never known anyone like you.”
Dwight and I met over ten years ago when he first started dating my sister, Grace, while studying at college. He was married to my sister for four years, up until she died of terminal brain cancer a little over three years ago. We hit it off the second we met and we’ve been best friends ever since, sometimes it feels like we’ve known each other forever. We’re like two peas in a pod, I’m Batman and he’s Robin, though he’d dispute it’s the other way around if I ever said that out loud. He’s my best friend in every sense of the word, but not only that, he’s my brother, maybe not by blood, but in every other way.
It’s kind of a godsend that he turned up tonight. I’d planned on drinking my worries away alone, but now he’s here, he can help take my mind off of certain things, namely, Donovan, the thought of him alone has my stomach swirling with dread.
“But, Lo, but why would you want that?” Dwight continues.
“Love and relationships… it’s all just a heap of shit.”
“Says the man who pushed me to go after Quinn because apparently, love was staring me in the face. Sounds like a guy who still believes in love to me. And besides, I was ready to give up on love too, and then I met Quinn.”
“Yeah, well it worked out well foryou. Every other relationship I’ve ever known has ended in disaster.”
“What? You’re going to give up on it because some little bitch broke your heart in high-school? That was a lifetime ago, Lo.”
Heartbroken is an understatement.
She was my first love, my firsteverything. It was that romance you see in teen movies, ground-breaking, earth-shattering, and I would have without question given everything I own to her if she wanted me to. But while she was with me, she was sleeping with the entire football team behind my back, she was even sleeping with my best friend at the time. I handed her my heart on a silver fucking platter and she demolished it, piece by piece. I saw first-hand how painful love and relationships can be. Why would anyone willingly sign up for that? From that day on, I swore never to let myself get that close to someone and give them the power to destroy me.
“I just don’t see why someone would hand over their heart to someone to have them break it. Now sex without strings on the other hand... there’s no risk of getting hurt.”
“Be serious, Lo. Don’t you want to settle down and get married someday? Don’t you want to find that someone who gives you everything you need?”
“Christ, Quinn sure has made you soft, man.” He met his girlfriend, Quinn, about nine months ago, she was his student at the University.
“Talking about marriage and wanting love doesn’t make you soft, it’s what makes us human.”
I take a big gulp of my beer, swallowing hard. “Sure, fine. I guess if the right girl came along I’d settle down, but for now, I’m quite happy doing what I’m doing. Why have just one candy when I can have to whole assortment?”
He laughs at my shitty attempt at a metaphor, but you get the picture. Though, if I’m being completely honest, he’s right, but I’m not gonna tell him that. For years, I’ve been perfectly content with sex without strings with no love involved, thinking that my life was full and that I was happy. Relationships and feelings only complicate things, complications I just don’t need in my life, but lately, it’s not enough.
