“I love you too, Ellis.” She kisses my cheek and then buries her head in my neck as I sit there, closing my eyes and breathing her in.
The fear begins to subside, and as soon as I feel ready, I release my daughter and Joanne takes her to the bathroom to clean up her face.
I hang my arms over my knees as my head falls forward, trying to take in a breath. But the pain is still there. It never truly leaves. It’s a hurt that is a part of me that gets inflamed in instances like this, scars on the inside that no one else knows are there unless I tell them.
But now I’ve projected my fear onto yet another person.
The shitty part is—Vienna didn’t even deserve it.
And now I don’t know if an apology will be enough to undo the hurt I’ve caused her too.
***
I stifle yet another yawn as I walk through the front door of my house, my head down even though I’m fighting like hell to keep my eyes open.
I slept like shit last night, replaying my words as I yelled at Vienna, remembering how fucking terrified I was when I couldn’t find my daughter and how out of line I was to blame her. Work was rough to get through today, but luckily, I now have a few days to recover.
Sighing, I hang my keys on the hook by the door, but the laughter coming from the kitchen stops me in my tracks.
What the…
“More sprinkles!” Ellis exclaims, clapping her hands together.
“I like your thinking, Ellis.”
Awareness creeps up my spine because the last person I anticipated being in my house right now is the woman I screamed at only twenty-four hours ago.
When I round the corner and find Ellis, Joanne, and Vienna in the kitchen, the countertop covered in cupcakes, confusion rushes through me.
“Daddy!” Ellis jumps down from her stool and slams into my legs, wrapping her arms around me.
“Hey, sweetie. How was your day?”
“Good! Ms. Lewis asked if I’d like to help her make cupcakes for her friend’s birthday, and I said yes!”
The desire to lift my eyes to the woman I can sense staring at me is frighteningly strong, but I refrain.
Way to be a fucking coward, Rhonan.
Joanne isn’t going to let me off that easy, though. “She made sure to ask for permission this time before she took off.”
I meet Joanne’s gaze and nod. “Good, but why are you baking them here?”
“I figured you’d be more comfortable with that,” Vienna interjects, pulling my eyes to her finally—and fuck, I wish she hadn’t.
Her eyes are narrowed at me, like if she could, there would be lasers projected out of them right at me.
You messed this one up good, Rhonan. Nice job, dickwad.
“I—” But before I can respond, Ellis starts talking again.
“Ms. Lewis, are you gonna take the cupcakes to your friend now?”
Vienna directs her gaze back to my daughter, reaching for her hand. “I wish I could, sweetie, but unfortunately, I can’t.”
“Why not?”
Vienna inhales deeply before staring up at the ceiling and then back down at my daughter. “Today is my friend’s birthday, but that friend is up in heaven.”
