“I’m sorry,” Ellis whispers, crying now in earnest.
Joanne pulls back just long enough to cup her face, tears streaming. “You’re safe. That’s all that matters.”
My chest feels too tight to breathe.
“Take her home,” I bark.
Joanne looks up at me with a warning in her eyes, but she doesn’t say anything as she rises, keeping Ellis tucked tight against her side.
I watch them leave and then turn back to Vienna. “You had no right!” My tone is harsh and laced with disdain because I need someone to blame for the fear that is racing through me right now.
“Right to what?”
“My daughter...she’s…” Grinding my teeth together, I take a few steps toward her and move my face closer to hers. “Since you don’t have children, you can’t even imagine what I’m feeling right now and probably never will.”
She winces, like my words physically hurt her. “Well, I—"
Shaking my head, I stare down at the ground while trying to get my heart rate under control. But when I look back up at the woman that I have been fantasizing about for over a month, I now know why I can’t give in to what I feel. “You have no idea what it’s like to have a child, to fear losing someone you love after actually experiencing it.”
Vienna’s eyes narrow at me as she swallows roughly, crossing her arms over her chest. But her reply surprises me, even though it shouldn’t. “You know what? You can leave now, Rhonan.”
We stay like that, staring at each other while my chest feels like it’s splitting in two. Finally, when I can’t take the disdain she’s returning with her eyes, I break the eye contact and push back through her door, stomping over to my house.
“Fuck!”
I barrel through the front door of my house, finding Joanne holding Ellis on the couch, my daughter still crying.
And that’s when the rage fueled by fear begins to dissipate. My shoulders fall, my feet carry me over to her, and the adrenaline evaporates, replaced by shame. “Ellis…”
Her bottom lip trembles and snot leaks from her nose as she stares up at me. “I’m—I’m sorry, Daddy.”
Dropping to my knees in front of her and Joanne, I take my daughter into my arms, attempting not to crush her as I hold her to my chest. “God, Ellis. You—you scared the shit out of me, sweetie.”
“I’m sorry…”
“You can’t run away like that.”
“I—”
“Rhonan,” Joanne says, pulling my attention to her. Rocking back and forth, I press my lips to my daughter’s forehead while waiting for Joanne to speak. “I guess Vienna and Ellis were talking over the fence and Ellis wanted to play with Roscoe. Vienna told her to ask if it was okay, but she didn’t see me outside, so she lied and said it was fine.” She tilts her head at me. “This wasn’t Vienna’s fault…”
“I just wanted to see Roscoe, Daddy,” Ellis says on a shaky breath.
I push her hair from her face, cradling her cheek in my hand. Fuck, I don’t think I’ve ever been this scared in my life. “You know better. You know that we don’t lie.”
“I know.” She nods, looking away from me. “You scared me. You yelled…”
My shoulders drop again as I fall back to the ground on my ass. “I’m sorry I yelled. I was just so freaking scared, sweetie.”
Her little arms wrap around my neck. “It’s okay. Everybody makes mistakes.”
As if her words were the realization I needed, my mind instantly veers toward Vienna and what a fucking asshole I just was to her.
Shit.
“Yeah, they do.”
Ellis leans back and puts both of her hands on the side of my face. “I love you, Daddy.”
