I sigh. “Orsetta, I get your mistrust, but I will never let that happen. Even if it means leaving to be with you and only you.” I pin her with an intense stare. I want no doubt coming from my next words. “I will choose you over them, Aurora. I will walk away from my family, my friends, all of it without a second glance or thought because my place is with you. No matter what that looks like or might be. I choose you. I will always choose you.”
I finally see when I’ve cracked through the walls. Her breathing picks up, and her lashes dampen with unshed tears. She bites on her lower lip, trying to contain herself, and maybe I’m a bastard for it, but I don’t want her to. I want her to finally confront what I should have been saying all along.
I wrap my arms around her, pulling into my lap, positioning her so she’s straddling me and her face is directly in front of mine. I press a gentle kiss to her mouth, then move my mouth along her cheek and jaw, up to the corner of her right eye. “It’s always going to be you, orsetta. The sassy woman that gives itback to me as good as she gets. The woman who fights with everything she has for the people she loves and cares for. The woman who fits perfectly beside me in bed at night, and who sees through the bullshit I try to spew her way.”
“Alonzo,” she breathes, voice shaky.
“It’s also going to be the woman who is a fucking badass and can put me to shame,” I continue with a soft smile. “The woman who took me down with her pussy in my face, and called me on my bullshit when I got complacent. The woman who told me to check my room for bugs and do it again when I thought I got them all. The woman who stands up to Russian Pakhans without so much as a flinch. That’s my woman. That’s the woman I’ve fallen in love with. And even though I’ve fucked it all up, I won’t stop until you realize how truthful I’m being. Because you deserve that.”
A tear slides from the corner of her eye, and I lift my hand to cup her face, brushing it away with my thumb. My heart clenches, seeing her cry, but I simply hold her.
“Why can’t I hate you?”
I don’t allow elation to surface. Not yet. There’s still too much at stake. “Because as angry as you are with me, you know that I’m not bullshitting you. If that was all I wanted, I wouldn’t be trying so fucking hard.”
“I’m still so angry at you.” The words are harsh, but she doesn’t pull away. “So angry for what you said, for what you made me feel, what you made me face. For following me here and putting yourself in danger, when I told you to stay away.”
“Staying away was never an option,orsetta. And it’s okay to be angry with me. I deserve it.”
“And what am I supposed to do if you die, Alonzo? What if I live and you die in this stupid fight that you’re not supposed to be a part of? Am I supposed to just go on living and pretend I’m alright?”
“It takes a lot to kill me, but yes, if I’m stupid enough to die, then you keep on going. Don’t let them make you into what they tried to mold you to be. You’re so much stronger than that, Aurora.” The intensity of the moment settles over us, weighted and sharp. Trying to lighten the mood, I add with a teasing smile, “And maybe it will be you killing me when I piss you off. Then you’ll be happy to keep on going and spit on my grave for good measure.”
She stares at me. “I’ll let Hades do it and drop a few big balls on it.”
I let out a sharp laugh. “Yeah, you do that. He’s gone after mine enough lately that he’ll probably be the one to have them when I die anyway.”
“I probably should apologize for that, but I’m not going to.” A ghost of a smile pulls at her lips.
Some of the tension in my chest and gut eases. We’re not out of the woods yet, but we’re getting there.
Maybe I’m being stupid, but I can’t help myself. I lean forward, pressing my lips to hers. It’s not a demanding kiss, or passionate, but the rightness of it isn’t lost. She doesn’t pull away, sinking into me, her hands coming up to cup the back of my head as she slowly deepens the kiss.
My cock instantly hardens, but I ignore it. That’s not the point right now. Her. She’s the reason.
We kiss until our lips are swollen, and our breathing labored. When she finally eases back, she presses her forehead to mine again. Neither of us speak, but I can feel the turmoil moving through her. Her mind trying to reason with her why this is a bad idea. Why she should push me away again, trying to go it alone.
It might be a stupid move on my part, but I press another gentle kiss to her mouth. “You’re tired, and it’s been a long day. We both need sleep. I’m not going to leave you, orsetta. No matter how hard you push, you need to know someone is in yourcorner, and that’s me. Someone who doesn’t want something from you other than knowing that you’re there. Someone who loves you for who you are, and doesn’t need you to change yourself into something you aren’t and accepts every part of you. Just remember that.”
I ease her away from me, and I see her watching me with a look that’s a mixture of pain, desperation, and hope. It’s the hope I lock on to, but I force myself to ease from the bed, careful not to step on the dog watching me from the floor. I lean down to scratch his ears, and he gives a groan of happiness. “Watch over her, boy.” He lifts his head like he knows exactly what I said, and I swear he nods before he lowers his head back to the floor.
I get to my feet, and round the bed, looking for my clothes.
“Alonzo.” I still, leaning down to grab my pants, lifting my head to look at her. She holds my stare, until she finally sighs. “Get back in bed. I need a few more hours.”
It’s a victory, small as it may be, but one nonetheless. I straighten, grab the knife from the floor I threw, round the bed, and climb back under the covers. She turns off the light after putting her gun and knife back, and the room is plunged back into darkness, other than the sliver of light from the bathroom.
She rolls into me, and I wrap my arms tight around her. She gives a soft sigh, sinking into me, and it hits me how right this is. I may not get much sleep tonight, watching over her, but I don’t fucking care.
This is all I need. All I want. It’s everything that’s right.
33
RORI
I leave my room,feeling rested, as well as confused as shit. Alonzo is still sleeping, but that doesn’t really surprise me. The man is a fucking rock once he’s relaxed, but it’s for the best. I’m not ready for the impending conversation. Last night was heavy. Far too heavy considering what’s coming, but a part of me feels less weighed down than before.
And that is a problem. I can’t let anything distract me. There are too many things I have to get to work on this morning, and Alonzo being in my head, making me face emotions I don’t want to, is not what I need right now.
