To my surprise, Chance nods. “Yeah, you’re right. I just didn’t know what to do. I didn’t want to worry Lev, since we had no choice but to race. And it’s not like I could have come to you, since you’re a fucking cop.”
I guess we’re doing this after all.
“I get that.” Ares concedes.
“But what the fuck were you thinking, Ares? You’re a cop, for crying out loud. If you get caught, not even Dad can save you from the consequences.”
“I’d rather get in trouble than have to stand in that cemetery again watching you being put next to Atlas. Besides, I’m gonna go see Sheriff Pullin and hand in my resignation tomorrow morning.”
We all look at him in disbelief. “Come again?” Lev asks. “Why? I thought it was your calling. That’s what you said to Scott when you dropped out of college and he begged you to reconsider. What’s changed?”
“Everything.” Ares says with a shrug. “I joined the police force because I was pissed that the investigation into the person who hit Atlas had hit a dead end. I tried to look into it on my own, but I was out of my depth. I needed resources that would be available to me only from inside the system.”
I remember his telling me something like that before.
“But no matter how deep I dug,” he continues. “I kept finding nothing new. The situation changed last week. Since whoever hit Atlas is back and has decided to target Zara during the races, being a cop is actually a hindrance. I need to be as close to the action as possible. Maybe your flashbacks were a sign that I should be on that racetrack and catch the person who killed our brother and is trying to hurt the woman we love.”
There’s a beat of silence as Chance considers his brother’s words. “But don’t you see? You haven’t been on a motorcyclesince that day. What if—” his voice breaks, his perfectly defined jaw working as he struggles not to cry.
Ares closes the distance between them and pulls Chance into a tight hug.
“I promise I’m gonna be careful. I’m gonna be ok and I’ll get some justice for our brother.” His voice is full of as much emotion as Chance’s was a second ago. “After all, it’s like riding a bike, right?” he attempts to chuckle.
“You’re such an idiot.” Chance’s laugh is mixed with tears. “But I mean it. If something happened to you, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself. I’m already the reason why Atlas died.”
We all look at him with disconcerted expressions on our faces.
Chance had said it before, when he mistook Ares for Atlas.
“Chance,” Ares’s voice is soft. “That’s absolute bullshit. Atlas was always supposed to race that day.”
“But the day before, he got in too late from Florida, remember? He had gone to that cheerleading competition to support Heather and her team. If I hadn’t filled in for him and qualified, he would have had to sit that race out.”
Lev intervenes. “Chance, we would have asked one of the guys that were training with us to fill in. Atlas asked you because you were better than any of the beginners the team was developing. He would have been in that race with or without your help.”
“He wouldn’t have had the pole position next to Zara’s though. He would still be here. I know everyone blames me. I can see it in Dad’s eyes every time he looks at me.”
Ares shakes his head. “That’s nonsense. Dad loves you more than life itself, and he would never wish you were dead instead of Atlas. First off, you’re his favorite, the only one who’s going to carry on his legacy on the ice. And besides, he loves us all. Evenwhen he doesn’t agree with the choices we make. He could never wish anything bad to any of us.”
“Do you really think that Dad doesn’t blame me?” Chance sounds hopeful and terrified at the same time.
“I’m positive,” Ares reassures him.
As they hug, guilt hits me like a freight train.
“That bike apparently wanted to hit me. I’ve been feeling responsible for what happened ever since that day. Even if I have no idea who would want to hurt me and why.” I bite my bottom lip hard enough to taste blood. I can’t cry right now. I don’t want them to feel like they have to comfort me. If they blame me too, I need to know.
Ares and Chance part, looking at me as if I had sprouted a second head.
“Please, princess,” Ares is by my side before I can exhale the shuddering breath I’ve been holding since the car ride back to the Club. “Don’t even think what happened is your fault, not even for a second.”
Chance backs him. “You have done nothing wrong.”
I realize that I’m shaking only when Lev comes to wrap his arms around me. “They’re right. Don’t even think about blaming yourself for someone else’s actions.”
“I already felt bad two years ago when Atlas got hit because I dodged that other bike. But now that they’re back, it’s obvious they want to hurt me. I should have been dead instead of your brother.”
Fear mixes with the guilt I’ve been carrying around all this time. I’m terrified that one day, they’ll decide that what happened really is my fault and they’ll leave me.
