I don’t entirely blame her. I understand that she felt rejected. “But it isn’t all Chance’s fault. He couldn’t have told you. We had agreed not to say anything to anyone until we were sure our feelings for each other were the real thing.”
She doesn’t budge. “He could have told me that he had feelings for you. He didn’t have to tell me that you two were sleeping together.”
“I’m so sorry, Heather. Maybe you’re right, and you should be upset with me.”
Heather takes my hand, squeezing it supportively. “Again, I’m not mad at you. You don’t know me as well as Chancedoes. He should know that if you guys had asked me to keep your secret, I wouldn’t have revealed anything. Not even under torture.”
I hug my pillow tighter, closing my eyes for a long moment. “Maybe you’re right that we shouldn’t keep so many secrets.”
Guilt twists my insides at the thought that I’m still keeping my relationship with Ares under wraps.
It isn’t that I don’t trust Heather’s loyalty. Ever since we met, she’s been a good friend. But she’s a very emotional person, and there’s always the risk of something slipping out if she gets upset.
A part of me wants to confess that I’m also in love with Ares. But I hold back. Chance is right that we need to tell our parents about our relationship. But when they learn about it, it has to be from the four of us. If Mom or Scott heard it from someone else first, the damage to our family would be irreparable.
“I agree with you.” Heather says, pulling the throw blanket folded at the foot of the bed over me. “Secrets have a way of coming out the wrong way. But just know that you can always trust me with yours.”
“Thank you, Heather.” I sigh, swallowing the guilt that bubbles to the surface.
She nods, her gaze still focused on me. “What are you going to do about the races?”
“I don’t think we have a choice right now.” I admit. “If we refuse to race, Mason was clear about the consequences.” I don’t tell her that he’s applying sky-high interest to our debt to keep us on his roster pretty much indefinitely.
“I know those races are breaking the law in every way possible,” Heather says. “But let me tell you something. You are a fucking badass, Zara. Watching you race is inspirational. The way you move like you’re one with your bike, the way you anticipate your opponents’ actions are something I only ever sawin a few racers. Champions like your father. Like my Atlas would have been if he had started his career in the MotoGP. Have you ever thought about racing professionally?”
Her words make me happy and sad at the same time. “It’s my dream. I have always wanted to race since I can remember. But my mom is against it and my dad… he doesn’t take me seriously. No one ever has.”
“That’s so unfair.” The heat in her tone surprises me. “I hate that in today’s world there are still careers that seem to be reserved for men. Women can do everything men can. Or have they not noticed that we’re astronauts, doctors and military officers? Racing shouldn’t be any different.”
I admire her passion, and I agree with her. “You’re right. But in certain fields, and professional sports are one of them, we still aren’t taken seriously. Motorcycle racing is one of them, and so is Formula One. At least Formula One is starting to open to women with academy programs and other opportunities, but we still have a long way to go to be even close to equality. Look at hockey. There are women’s teams, but they don’t get a tenth of the attention men’s teams get. And when it comes to pay, the difference is even more staggering. I get that if women wanted to compete with men in physical sports like hockey or football, we would be at a disadvantage for biological reasons. But motorcycle racing is different. I wish doors opened more easily for women in that world.”
“Maybe you could be the one to make that change happen.” There’s passion in Heather’s eyes when she says that. “You’re really great on a motorcycle, Zara. If that’s what you want to do, you shouldn’t give up.”
Maybe Heather is right. “It’s what I want. But I don’t know if it’s going to be possible.”
One of the things I love about Heather, aside from her kindness, is her fierce attitude. “You’ll never know if you don’ttry. You were talking about hockey before, right? If you go for it, I’ll be your number one fan. And I’m sure Chance and Lev will support you too.”
I know the guys will. Our parents and the rest of the world, however, will be much harder to convince.
“Thank you, Heather. That means a lot. But we’ve been talking about me nonstop since Mom left. What happened between you and Dave last night? Did you go out with him?”
Redness rises to her face, and she sneaks under the blanket, scooting next to me. “I did.”
Her voice is barely above a whisper.
If Dave were anyone else, I wouldn’t worry. But he’s Cal’s brother, and he was instrumental in getting Chance and Lev involved in the races.
“What happened?” I can’t hide the worry in my tone. “Please tell me that he didn’t try to force you…” I can’t even finish the sentence.
Maybe comparing Dave to his older brother is unfair, but I can’t help the thought since the Fox brothers seem close.
Heather shakes her head, her eyes wide with surprise at my implication. “Oh, no. Nothing like that. He actually was very nice to me.”
“Did you sleep with him?” The question tumbles out of my mouth even though I know it’s none of my business.
“Define sleep with him.”
I roll my eyes at her answer. “Come on, Heather. Did you fuck him?”
