“Allow me to present Exhibit A.”
“What are you?” I snort. “A lawyer?”
“Better. I own a bar. Have spent thousands of hours pouring beers for people who tell me their deepest, darkest secrets. I’m everyone’s favorite therapist. And over the years, I’ve learned how to read people. Better yet, I’m able to read the tension between people.” He gives a subtle nod in Rowan’s direction. “Last month, the tension between the two of you was fucking intense. It screamed, ‘I can’t have her, but I’ll murder anyone who even looks her way.’”
Heat creeps up my neck, but I play it off. “That so?”
“Case in point…the death glare you shot poor Joshua every ten seconds. But this month? It’s different. No death glare.”
“Because there’s nothing?—”
He holds up a hand, cutting me off.
“Ah, ah, ah. I’m not finished.” He brings the bottle back to his lips and takes a long swallow. “As I was saying, there’s no death glare this month. And the tension isn’t giving off those territorial vibes. Instead, it’s oozing with ‘I just had her and I’m counting down the seconds until I can have her again.’”
He waggles his brow, and I shake my head. But he’s not wrong.
Iamcounting down the seconds until I can be alone with Rowan.
“You can’t even deny it. You’ve got it bad.”
There’s no sense in lying to him. If there’s anyone I can talk to about this, it’s Jude. He’s one of the few people who can truly understand what I’ve gonethrough this past year. He suffered a loss, too. A different kind of loss, but a loss all the same. He wrestled with guilt, regret, and grief, just like me.
Struggled to move on. Until Abbey.
“We’re just having some fun. That’s all.”
“Famous last words.” He tilts back his beer bottle and takes a sip.
“We agreed. No plans for a future. We’re just having some fun while she’s here and when the arrangement no longer works out or it’s time for her to leave, it ends and we go our separate ways.”
“Are you sure about that?”
“It’s not like we’re dating or anything,” I attempt to argue. “It’s just sex.”
“It’s never just sex, brother.”
He glances toward the other end of the table where Abbey sits with Finn and Genevieve.
“I said the same thing about Abbey. We were just having some fun while she figured out what was next for her.” He leans closer and drops his voice. “And do you know what I did last weekend?”
“What?”
“Went ring shopping.”
“Wow. That’s great, Jude.” I give his shoulder a squeeze. “I’m happy for you.”
“Thanks, man. I never thought I’d be here again. Not after everything I went through with Krista. I figured that part of my life was over. But when you meet someone who makes you feel like yourself again? Like the version of you that existed before the worst thinghappened?” He narrows his gaze on me. “That’s not something you walk away from lightly.”
My chest tightens as the sound of Rowan’s laughter filters through the air. It’s bright and unguarded, and it hits me harder than I expected.
I remember the man I was before my entire life was consumed by grief and regret. The man who laughed easily. Who said yes more than he said no.
I’ve seen glimpses of him lately.
“We’re not?—”
“I get it,” Jude cuts through before I can repeat yet another bullshit lie. “It’s terrifying. You went through something horrific. Lost your wife and are now raising your kids on your own. It makes sense that you wouldn’t want to put yourself in a situation where you or your kids might go through anything remotely similar. I was in your shoes, too. Was so fucking scared of loving someone and losing them again that I shut out everyone. And I almost lost the best thing that’s ever happened to me because of it.”
