Every few minutes, she steals a glance my way, a myriad of unspoken words in that one look.
A part of me wonders if Joshua knows, since he seems to keep his distance, especially whenever he notices me looking at Rowan. But if he’s figured it out, he hasn’t mentioned it.
Regardless, one thing is certain.
This past month has been one of the best of my life.
Quiet laughter during dinner. Making Rowan come after the kids are asleep. Stolen kisses in the kitchen.
It’s been…easy.
After a year of wearing my grief like a badge of honor, I feel lighter. I sleep better. Laugh more.
All because of Rowan.
It doesn’t even bother me that any day she could decide she’s had enough of us and leave.
Do Iwanther to leave?
Of course not.
But I’m not obsessing over the future.
Hell, I’m not even obsessing over the past anymore.
For the first time in ages, I’m just here.
Present.
Free.
“Is that a smile I see?”
Jude’s voice cuts through my thoughts, and I quickly school my expression, pretending I wasn’t just smiling atthe mere thought of the things my employee did to me before the kids woke up this morning.
“What are you talking about?” I bring my beer to my lips and take a sip. “Good batch, by the way,” I say, referring to the beer.
But he doesn’t take the bait. I should know by now he wouldn’t.
“What’s going on with you?” He leans back in his chair. “You seem…different.”
“I’m not different,” I respond dismissively. “Just enjoying my beer.”
Jude scrunches his brows, studying me with even more intensity. “The Hayden I’ve seen moping around the past year hasn’t enjoyedanything. Which begs the question…” He brings his thumb and forefinger up to his chin. “What precisely are you enjoying now?”
I avert my gaze, stealing a glance at Rowan as I do. “I don’t know what?—”
“A-ha!” His voice echoes through the room, everyone pausing their conversations to look his way.
“Sorry.” He clears his throat. “Just figured out a crossword clue from this morning. Those Sunday puzzles can be brutal.”
My mom gives him a skeptical stare, but eventually shrugs it off and returns her attention to Jemmy.
Once the noise returns to its normal fevered level, Jude leans toward me. “You’re fucking the nanny.”
I choke on my beer, coughing as I struggle to catch my breath.
“What?” I manage to say after a few seconds. “I don’t know where you got that.”
