‘I’ll do it,’ said Nick, ‘on one condition.’ He gestured at Kitty. ‘Kitty needs to do it too. I’ll play Romeo if she’ll be Juliet.’
Now everyone faced Kitty. Her heart raced, her palms were sweaty. A bubble of fear rose inside her. She should never have agreed to help out Margot in the first place. Her instincts had been right. Now, there was no way out of it. Refuse, and she would be seen as a coward at best, a hypocrite at worst. Here she was, trying to get all these people who’d never set foot on a stage to take on a leading role in the play, and yet she, with all her drama experience, wouldn’t step up to the plate.
She couldn’t tell them the truth. She couldn’t tell them why the thought of putting herself out there was terrifying. There was no way she could come out of this well. Her whole body tingled as heat flooded through her. Her eyes burned; her vision blurred. She couldn’t get control of her body.
With a screech of metal against parquet flooring, Kitty flung back her chair. She jumped and, before she could think, her legs had carried her across the room and out of the door.
Kitty didn’t stop running until she reached the beach. She crumpled onto the cold sand, pulled her knees close to her chest, and let a wave of despair wash over her. Her only thought was that she had ruined everything. She had thought putting distance between her and James would solve her problems. Distance hadn’t helped. Even here, he could get to her. Even without knowing, he still dominated her life, her thoughts, her movements.
The old Cathy would have jumped at the chance of a leading role in a play. The new Kitty? She couldn’t think of anything worse.
‘Kitty?’
She twisted around. Alice stood behind her, several metres away, as if scared to get too close.
Kitty smiled wanly. ‘Sorry,’ she said. ‘I suppose by running away, I’ve proved your point.’
‘My point?’ said Alice.
‘Yeah. Turns out Iama real drama queen, after all.’
Alice’s smile was small and sad. She came closer and sat down beside Kitty. ‘Are you going to tell me what that was all about in there?’ she asked.
She didn’t look at Kitty, and Kitty was grateful. It was as though Alice understood she was straying into dangerous territory, and giving her a bit of distance was the best thing all round.
‘I can’t tell you,’ said Kitty. ‘What Icansay is sorry. I can’t believe I embarrassed myself like that in front of everyone.’
‘You were upset,’ said Alice. ‘Everyone saw you were. You’ve got nothing to be embarrassed about. But… we are curious why.’
‘I can’t tell you,’ Kitty repeated, her voice muffled by unshed tears.
‘Kitty.’ Alice tentatively placed a hand on her knee. ‘I don’t think I’ve told you much about my own arrival in SaffronBay.’ She sighed. ‘It was far from smooth. And if it taught me anything, it’s that things are often best out in the open. You think you can carry a burden by yourself but, cheesy as it sounds, burdens are much lighter once they’re shared.’
‘You don’t understand,’ said Kitty, the first of her silent tears trickling down her cheeks.
‘Then try me,’ Alice said. ‘You can trust me, Kitty.’
Kitty sat silently for a long moment. The sun was setting, and the light in the sky was beautiful. A gull swooped across the horizon in front of them, and she focused on its fluid movements as it caught the breeze. Eventually, the weight was too much to bear. She scrubbed her face with her palms. She had nothing to be ashamed of.
‘I’ll tell you,’ Kitty said. ‘It can’t go any further, please, Alice. Promise me. You won’t even tell Luke.’
Alice lifted her head to the sky and then turned to face Kitty. ‘All right,’ she said. ‘I promise. Now tell me what’s going on.’
Chapter 32
Nick placed the pint down in front of Luke and slumped into his chair in The Ship’s bar.
‘That was a bit of a disaster,’ he said, taking a long gulp of the amber liquid. He’d always thought of Kitty as self-assured. Tonight she’d been anything but.
‘Yeah,’ agreed Luke. ‘It could have gone better.’
‘What do you think was wrong with Kitty?’ Nick paused, and let out a long sigh. ‘She must really hate me,’ he muttered into his pint.
‘What are you talking about?’
‘It’s obvious, isn’t it? She couldn’t imagine anything worse than having to act in a play opposite me. Perhaps I’ve got terrible breath. Or perhaps it’s my personality that makes her run out of rooms at the mere thought of standing within a metre of me.’
Luke shook his head. ‘I don’t think it’s about you at all. I suspect there’s something else going on here that’s got nothing to do with you.’
