‘No, green’s totally not cool. I look like a troll.’ More sobs racked her small body, and I put an arm around her.
‘It’s OK, we’ve all been there with hair disasters.’
‘I bet you haven’t. Your hair’s amazing. I wanted mine to be black, like yours.’
‘Oh, Em, you’re beautiful as you are. Trust me, my hair’s a pain in the bum. It takes me hours to straighten it each morning.’
‘You shouldn’t straighten it, it looks better curly.’
‘I’ll take your advice on board.’ It was only after marrying Rob I’d started straightening out my natural curls. I couldn’t remember if it was something he’d said, or pressure from other mums, but somewhere along the way I’d lost myself beneathsteam and the smell of burning follicles. ‘Em, I don’t want to add to your woes, but has something happened to your eyebrow?’
A flush spread across Emmy’s freckled face. ‘I saw it in a magazine. It looked cool.’
‘Only having one eyebrow?’
‘No.’ Emmy folded her arms and looked at me like I had the intelligence of a goldfish. ‘It was supposed to be one small line shaved out, but the razor slipped.’
‘What razor did you use?’
‘Dad’s.’
‘That could have been the problem. Listen, I can go to a pharmacy today and buy some hair dye to get your hair back to its natural colour.’
‘I can’t go to school.’
‘That’s up to your dad.’
‘But he’ll make me. Please, Aunt Liv, can you talk to him?’
‘I can try, but I’m not making any promises.’
‘What about my eyebrow?’
‘Your eyebrow will grow back quickly, and in the meantime, we can fix it with a little make-up.’
‘You know how to do that?’
‘Trust me, Em, I’ve attended enough of Rob’s work parties over the years to know how to apply a bit of slap. Now come on, let’s get you out of here. Any minute now the entire house will wake up needing a wee, and Bertie’s already watered the garden enough for one day.’
I’d shepherded my niece out of the bathroom and downstairs for her breakfast when Jasper appeared and all hell broke loose.
‘What the f…’
‘Flip. That’s it, isn’t it Jasper, what the flip?’
Jasper stood in the doorway, his usually calm face pink. I was certain that if I looked closely, I’d see steam coming out of his ears.
‘Emmy had a minor accident with some hair dye.’
Emmy stared into her cereal, refusing to look her dad in the eye.
‘We were wondering if she could take the day off school? I can nip out this morning and try to find some dye to correct it.’
Emmy looked up from under her green fringe. ‘Please, Dad.’
‘Oh my God,’ said Jasper, walking up to his daughter and cupping her chin. ‘What the fu… flip happened to your eyebrow?’
‘Don’t worry, Aunt Liv said she can sort it with makeup.’
