“How will I know if you are sleeping?” I ask.
“You will hear me snore. Or you can turn on your camera.”
I got braids before the surgery, knowing that I would not want to deal with my hair, so I know I look fine. But there is this intimacy to him seeing me sleep that makes me feel a little self-conscious.
“This is weird,” I say.
“Why?”
“I don’t know, it just is.”
“Well, I can come over and sleep next to you in person.”
That is the wake-up call I need to remind me of what we shouldn’t be doing. There is no way in hell I won’t fall for him if I find myself curled up in his arms. I don’t need to see what his face looks like when he is sound asleep, and I don’t want to feel his warm body pressed against mine.
Yet I still don’t want to say no.
“The phone will do,” I say, knowing I’m making a mistake.
I bring the coffee table closer and prop the phone up with some books. Plugging in my charger and calling him on video, I try not to sigh at his adorable face.
His beard is ruffled like he has been rubbing at it all night. He has bags under his eyes, too, that somehow make the green in them come out even more. His smile, bright and full, isn’t dimmed at all by the time of night.
“You look beautiful,” he says, lying down on his arm.
“Good night, Callahan.”
“Good night, Monty.”
I can’t fall asleep for the first hour, and neither can he. We just watch each other in silence, our eyes communicating what our mouths can’t. When he starts to doze off before me, I wait a few minutes just looking at him before I close my eyes.
Chapter 13
IwishIcouldsay that was the last time we did that, but over the few weeks of my recovery we fell asleep often with each other on the phone. It’s starting to get to the point where I sleep better hearing his snore than in the silence of my own room.
The first night Callahan had hung up before my dad came downstairs so I didn’t have to answer to anything, but when Farrah’s nosy ass went through my phone when I was in the bathroom, I finally had to answer to someone.
“That is so cute!” She practically screeches, her hands coming up to her mouth.
We are seated at an all-you-can-eat Chinese buffet, providing us with the opportunity to show that we can indeed eat a lot. It’s one of the many ways she has worked to cheer me up.
“It’s not a big deal.”
“Oh yes, it is. Me and Errol do that when he is on location. We even have little video dates beforehand.” She takes a bite of her chow mein and shakes her head.
My breath gets shorter, and my chest all of a sudden feels itchy.
“Stop making it a big deal.”
She throws her hands up, but doesn’t look any less enamored with the idea.
“So does this mean you are seeing him now?”
“I don’t know. All I’m sure of is the fact that I crossed a boundary. I can no longer keep him at bay after doing these things with him.”
She slaps my fingers away with her chopstick when I try and grab at her egg roll. I do it just to piss her off, knowing damn well I can just get up and get my own.
“Well, you know my opinion on it, but you should definitely talk to him.”
