“Callahan told me about his past and what happened between you guys.”
He tenses up and looks at the ground. Thoughts form in the lines of his forehead, but I can’t read them.
“I’m not trying to overstep,” I quickly stutter. “I just wanted to talk to you about our relationship.”
He nods, but keeps looking away from me.
“Getting diagnosed with cancer this year was the hardest thing I have ever been through.” The words peel out of me slowly, reluctantly, my mouth not used to making these types of confessions. “It’s shifted my entire life forever. At first, I didn’t realize how much it would affect me. Much like yourself, I’m stubborn.”
This gets a small chuckle before his face pulls tight again.
“I thought I could do this on my own with little help. I was wrong.” I push my hat down further on my head while looking between him and my cup. I let the silence bloom a little while I try to uproot the right words.
“Callahan showed up even when I didn’t want him to. He quite literally picked me up from off the floor. Getting through this year without him wouldn’t have been possible.”
He still isn’t looking at me, but I can tell he is listening by the turn of his head. It pushes me to go on.
“Look, I know he has made mistakes, and you have your reasons for feeling how you feel. But I just wanted to tell you that your son healed me. He held me together when I was falling apart. He made me laugh when I didn’t think I could. He did everything to be what I needed when I didn’t think I needed anyone.”
He finally looks back at me, his hazel eyes bright even in the darkness. Full of so many things I can’t name.
“He is a really good man. You raised a good man.” I grab hold of his hand like that will help him better hear what I’m saying. “He’s not the boy he was before, and I think, based on the values your family has, you should be really proud of him.”
Cormac sighs deeply, his fingers trailing his beard as he tries to find the right response.
“He really did all of that?”
“He did even more, but I can’t put it into words.”
His frown finally cracks, and a little bit of that small smile comes back through.
“You’re a good woman to come and talk to me.”
“I would do anything for your son, just like he would do anything for me.”
He pulls me into a side hug and squeezes his appreciation before we stand up. Pausing before the door, he gives me one more look before he nods.
Back inside, I watch as he walks up to Callahan and grabs his shoulder. Callahan looks at him just as Cormac pulls him into a hug. Callahan’s eyes go big before he closes them tightly and grabs his dad like he is five again. They hold each other so long that it gets everyone’s attention. Mary presses a hand to her mouth, and Rowan claps quietly. We all watch in excitement as father and son reconnect.
When they break apart, they shake hands, and then without a word, Cormac goes to sit on the couch. In his own way, he just showed Callahan that he forgives him.
I watch as Callahan grips his chest and lets out a big breath. Then his eyes connect with mine. In them, I see tears. Crossing the small space, he pulls me into his arms.
Into my neck, he whispers, “Thank you.”
“All I did was try to give you what you deserve.” His father’s respect, his family’s love, and me.
He deserves someone who will make him feel appreciated and wanted. The way he looks at me when we pull back lets me know that he knows that now. It’s all I have wanted to give him.
I know that it will still take time for him to work on his own wounds from his past, but I hope I have been showing him that I don’t plan on giving him any more. I hope his father’s hug shows him that everything he thinks is wrong.
He wipes his eyes and sniffs before pulling me back into his arms. Despite the crowded room, a silence descends between us.
“I have to fix this myself, but I appreciate you helping me try to do that. At the very least, I’m really starting to believe you think I’m enough. You want me.” His breath is heavy on my skin.
“Callahan, I need you. My life doesn’t work without you.” I pull back so I can see his eyes. “I can’t imagine a future that doesn’t have you in it.”
His smile is so full it pushes his eyes close. Still, one tear leaks out. I wipe it like it’s precious, because it is. This is the reversal of the ones I made him cry in Martha’s Vineyard. This shows me that I’m undoing the damage I caused.
