—
Outside my dorm,the air is so cold I can see my breath, and several feet of snow blanket the ground. Trying not to think about the investigation, I focus on the blood pumping through my veins, the oxygen filling my lungs. I want to forget about everything, forget the article, and most of all, forget the fact I’d failed to do the one thing that might help Amy—talk to my sister.
—
This morning, I’dcalled Maya. I wanted so badly to ask her about Lila, but the question got caught in my throat. She’d refused to talk about Greystone for my entire life because she didn’t want me to be a part of her world, and because of this, I’d never told her I was in it myself. Why would she help me now?
Instead, I’d asked her if she was coming to the BAC show.
“Of course I am,” she said, somewhat defensively. I heard Dani and Nate in the background getting ready for school. “Why are you asking me that? I told you I was coming months ago.” I hated when she got like this. It probably came from all the times I’d asked her to come to things that she had to miss for one reason or another.
That’s when I got an idea.
I tried to sound relaxed. She could always pick up on even the subtlest tremor in my voice, and I wasn’t ready to deal with her questions. “It could be fun if you stayed afterward. The show ends at eight, but we could get a late dinner? Maybe you could even stay over in the dorms. Go out to the Street?” I thought about how she used to visit Margaret and John’s place over Thanksgiving after I moved in with them, how we’d have sleepovers in my room, and felt hopeful as I waited for her response.
But Maya said something to Nate or Dani, and I could tell she wasn’t listening. “Sorry, what was that? Dinner?”
“Yeah…” I wanted to sayListen to me!To tell her about the investigation. The break-in…See if she remembered anything about Lila. I had so many questions, and I knew that if I could just talk to my sister, this could all be solved.
But…what if she tried to stop me?
I could imagine the raised pitch, the alarm in her voice that I’d heard so often in the years after Mom died:What are you thinking? Why don’t you listen?
“Thanks for calling,” Maya said, interrupting my thoughts. “It’s always nice to hear from you.” Her tone was distant. Nate was saying something to her. It was my cue to let her go.
I sighed. “Yeah, you too. I’ll visit soon.”
“Will you?” Her voice lifted. “Dani’s been asking about you. She wants you to braid her hair again.”
“Yeah?”
“Every time we get a sitter, she whines and throws a fit when she finds out it’s not you.”
Of course she’d say that, because that’s all I am: my sister’s favorite sitter.
A new wave of panic hit me. What if Amy and I were gettingourselves into something we couldn’t get out of? “Hey, wait.” I wanted to tell her that I was scared. That I needed her help. I needed her here.
“Yeah?” She was listening now.
“No, nothing,” I said, my voice pinched. “I’ll tell you when I see you.”
“Okay…” Maya said. “And don’t forget about Cecily. She went out of her way to get you that Hunt internship. I know they’re having some difficulties right now, but you should reach out and tell her you appreciate everything she did to help you.”
“Right.” I closed my eyes. I still hadn’t told her I’d both gotten a job offer from Hunt and turned it down as soon as Liam told me about theTimesinvestigation. Whatever was coming for the fund, I didn’t want to be a part of it.
Dani was crying in the background, and I heard some shuffling sounds on the other end of the line.
“Dani, stop,” she said to her daughter. Then to me: “I’ve got to go, Dani is having a meltdown. Talk soon.”
“Okay. Love you,” I replied, but she’d already hung up the phone.
—
Winded, I slowto a walk to catch my breath. the cold is making my lungs raw—maybe I’ve run enough for the day. Surrounded by mist and unable to see fifty feet in either direction, I suddenly feel nervous. The fog seems to have blocked the sun, closing in on me from all sides.
I’m heading back toward the university when I hear a rustling sound.
I stop, concentrating on the spot where I heard movement. My skin tingles with a horrible feeling. That feeling of certainty, that gut feeling you get when youknowsomeone is watching. Following.
