“I plan on it,” she chuckles, turning to go. “I’m going to go before the snow starts then.”
“Don’t drive back if the roads are too bad. Wait until everything’s clear or call me if you want a ride. Your little car will get stuck.”
She promises and heads off with a smile to stay with her boyfriend. After she leaves, I watch the fire burn down to nothing. I wonder what Silver’s doing. Is she excited about a snowstorm? I remember how she looked up at the sky, the flakes falling around her as we walked to my truck on Thanksgiving. It seems like so long ago, and it’s barely been two months.
I pick up my phone to text her and can’t find the words to type. I set it down, pick it back up again, and almost hit the button to call her, but what am I going to say? I can’t call. I need to see her in person.
Now.
CHAPTER 30
SILVER
The cabin is quiet,with only the crackle of the small fire I built in the fireplace and the sound of Goblin’s purr. Between my time here and out at Lee’s place, I’ve decided that the next house I buy will be more rural. And will definitely have a fireplace. I love the peace of it after a hectic day at the diner.
I’ve kept myself as busy as I can this last month. It wasn’t hard since there was so much to do after my insurance finally paid me. My burned property is already under contract to be sold to the neighbor and will be finalized soon. I’ve hired a realtor to find a new place, and I’ve paid off the debt from remodeling and repairing the diner. I’ve hired more help and expanded the hours of Lucky’s Coffee Bar. It’s been a lot but working long days has kept me from dwelling on the heartbreaking thought that never really goes away.
Lee hates me now.
From the moment I drove away from that barn, he hasn’t said a word to me. When he looked at me in the graveyard, his face could’ve been chiseled from stone. What he’s been through is unimaginable and would’ve led most men into insanity or suicide. At first, I thought he needed space to deal with it all, that we’d talk later when he was ready, but he doesn’t want to see me.
I’ve worried about him every day, but it’s reassuring to know Lacey’s with him. She and I have talked a few times, and she told me he’s doing better. I’m so happy to hear it. That’s all I want, for him to finally find some closure and peace. Even if that means he doesn’t want to be around me.
I don’t blame him. I know he loved me in the moment that he said my name, saving my life again, but that died along with the woman he sacrificed in my place. Of course he can’t stand me now. As long as he can move on and be happy again, I can live with that.
The wind picks up, howling around the house and reminding me that there’s a storm coming tonight. I’m ready for it. It’ll be nice to hole up for a few days and see the world looking fresh and clean.
A tap on my door catches me by surprise. Calli usually texts before she walks over, but she probably forgot. When I sweep back the small curtain over the window, my heart leaps into my throat, and I yank the front door open.
Lee stands in front of me. For a long moment, neither of us are able to find our words. The light from the fire plays over his face as we stare at each other. I’m terrified of so much in those drawn-out seconds, scared that he’s struggling,scared that he’s come to vent his resentment, but most of all, scared that he’ll turn and leave before I can say what I’ve been desperate to tell him.
“I’m sorry,” The words leave my tight throat in a broken sob. His face crumples and suddenly I’m in his arms with my legs wrapped around him while he squeezes me so hard I can’t breathe. “I’m sorry. It’s okay if you hate me, but please believe me. I’m so fucking sorry.”
“No,” he says, his voice gruff as he kicks my door shut behind him and carries me across the living room with my face buried in his neck. “Don’t you dare. You don’t have anything to be sorry about.”
“I made things worse. Talking shit and telling Xavier about Joshua. He was never going to let her live after that.”
“He wasn’t anyway.”
“I was just so pissed, and I thought if I could turn him on her, maybe…I don’t know.” Uncontrollable sobs rack through me again, and I try to get a hold of myself. I don’t know how he’s carried the guilt he has for years when a month has felt like an eternity.
He puts me on the couch and kneels between my legs in front of me. His hands grip mine and tears streak his face as he looks me in the eye. Through all of this, I’ve never seen him cry and it twists a knife even deeper.
“You didn’t do anything wrong,” he says. “It was smart. Telling him everything was the smartest thing to do to save your life.”
“I’m so sorry for what he did. For making you choose.”
He cups my face in both of his hands, his dark eyesshining as they stare into mine. “Listen to me. I made the right choice. I haven’t regretted it for one second, do you hear me?” Fresh tears pour down my cheeks as he speaks, and he brushes them away with his thumbs. “If you took me back to that night, put me back in that moment, I’d do it again. I’d choose you again. Every time.”
He stands to pick me up and puts me on his lap, wrapping his arms around me again. “I could never hate you.”
I can’t manage to reply as the relief of that pours over me. We cling to each other, not trying to stop the tears. All the tension and terror and heartbreak we’ve been through floods out of us. I’m not sure how much time passes as we stay there holding each other, until our storm of emotions dies down.
Goblin jumps on us to rub her head under Lee’s chin and he pets her. “Okay,” he says with a chuckle. “I admit I missed you too.”
My laugh is watery. “How’s Rogue doing?”
“She’s spoiled rotten, sleeping on my couch every evening. She’s been looking for you.”
