He sits down heavily. “She wanted me dead.”
“I’m sorry,” Arlow says. “But this means you’re safe now and so are your children. No one else knows about any of this and they won’t be found.”
Joshua nods, trying to take it all in. “Did you save the person she took from you?”
Arlow leans against the table beside him. “We did. She’s okay.”
“And you’re sure no one else knew anything? No one’s going to show up at my place looking for her?”
“No, you’re safe,” Arlow replies.
“Don’t get it fucked up though. You and your family are safe as long as you never speak of any of this to anyone,” I add, my threat clear.
“I just want to forget this shit ever happened.” I know how he feels and best of luck to him. He rubs his chin. “Fuck, I can’t believe I was so wrong about her.”
Tell me about it. “Did you do the tattoo on her chest?” Arlow blinks, surprised at my question. I haven’t mentioned what I saw to anyone.
“The bird? Yeah.”
“Was Xavier with her? Did he force her to get it?”
“No, that was before I’d even worked on him, actually. She found me first and introduced us when he wanted ink done later.” He pauses and thinks back. “She came in alone and she was excited. She went on about how Xavier was her murder bird, and she wanted to surprise him by getting it done. I always try to talk people out of getting names, but she insisted.” He shrugs.
There’s only so much denial a man can live in and mine has just been blown apart.
I vaguely hear Arlow tell him that we won’t be bothering him again as long as he doesn’t tell anyone, and the bell dings above the shop door as we leave.
I start my truck and sit there for a minute. “She left me fora pimp. She faked her death and let me believe that I got her killed for all these years. To be with him.” Arlow looks over at me with a solemn nod. He seems to understand I need to say it aloud.
“She destroyed me and even that wasn’t enough. She used the grief and guilt she caused to manipulate me. As soon as I managed to love someone again, she tried to take her away.” I shake my head, trying to let the truth sink in. “She never loved me. No one has ever hated me more.”
The next few weeks are hard, but nothing compared to the years I held myself responsible for Isla. My emotions are all over the place, with anger taking the forefront. Because how fucking could she? How could she do that to me? When I think back to that time, to getting custody of Lacey, to buying this lake house, she never once said it wasn’t what she wanted.
If she wasn’t happy, why couldn’t she just tell me? Leave me, divorce me, whatever. It’s an answer I already know, spoken from her lips, even if I don’t want to accept it. She wanted excitement. It wasn’t the fact that I was doing good for people as a vigilante that she liked, only the danger of it. She had no problem moving onto a man who rented out women like they’re not even human. Faking her death must’ve been a thrill. It says so much about who she really was.
The realization leads me to the guest room closet where Igrab the dress and our wedding photo. Lacey comes home just as I’m tossing them on the bonfire.
Her hand slips into mine. “Hey,” she says. “What are you doing?”
“Letting her go.”
She leans her head against my shoulder. “I’m glad.” She stands with me, silently watching them burn for a minute. “You should know I told Nick that I was drugged and robbed by my roommate. I hate to lie but he knew something was wrong and I couldn’t tell him the real truth. We’re talking about moving in together soon.”
“Is that what you want to do? Because you can stay with me as long as you want.”
“I know, but I’m fine, really. It’s not only that I don’t want to live alone.” She looks up at me and shrugs. “I’m in love with him and I want to be with him every day.”
At the mention of being in love, my mind goes straight to Silver. I know I’m in love with her. I knew it when she tried to confess her love to me, but I couldn’t accept it then. Every day I want to go to her, but I’ve resisted. So much has happened, and I need to know I’m not too fucked up, not too broken.
“That’s a good reason.”
“Did you hear about the snow coming tonight? They’re saying it could be like last year’s shutdown storm. All snow, no ice though.”
“Yeah, I took a few trips earlier to stock all the cabins up on firewood and make sure they had enough propane.”
She looks up at me. “Would you be okay if I went and gotsnowed in with Nick for a few days? I won’t leave if you don’t want to be alone.”
I look down at Lacey and for the first time, I see the capable caring woman she’s become instead of the sixteen year old I raised. “I’ll be fine. Have a good time.”
