His concern is understandable, if not warranted. I’d never add to Lacey’s trauma after today. “Thank you. For everything tonight. I owe you.”
“You don’t,” he says. “We’re family. This is what we do. You should stay here for a while. You and Lacey. We have plenty of room.”
Footsteps draw our attention and we turn to see Lacey approaching, a blanket wrapped around her shoulders. “Is everything finished?”
“Yes, everything’s fine. You should get some sleep,” I reply.
“I can’t. Can I stay with you? I don’t want to go back to my apartment.”
I get to my feet and put my arms around her. As much as I’ve tried to protect her, I couldn’t tonight. Being drugged and waking to find Silver missing must’ve been terrifying, but she never hesitated to help, even with digging graves. “Of course you can. You never have to go back there if you don’t want to. Go ahead to my truck, and I’ll be right behind you.”
Once she walks away, Arlow looks me in the eye. “Areyou okay to go home Lee? After everything, if you’re having those thoughts…”
“No. I’d never do that to Lacey on top of all this. If I start thinking that way, I’ll call. I promise.” I hesitate before walking away. “Just look after Silver.”
“Of course. She’s family too.”
CHAPTER 29
LEE
“Areyou sure you’re ready to go back to work?” I ask Lacey as she scoops up her purse and keys from the table.
“Yep. I just want to get back to normal. Nick’s meeting me afterward to go to the movies and dinner.”
Good. I’m glad that one of us isn’t struggling to leave that night behind. It’s only been a week, but I’m a mess. I can’t sleep for shit, don’t have an appetite, and all I do is keep running the things I’ve learned through my head.
Silver thinks that Isla was the one who tried to drown her, who set her house on fire, but I can’t imagine her being capable of that. I desperately want to believe Xavier took her, used the years to threaten and brainwash her, that she was afraid to leave him. Then I hear her voice shouting that I was boring. That I tried to turn her into a housewife and mother. That she never loved me, only the excitement of being with a man who did dangerous things.
Was she only trying to keep Xavier from killing her or was it the truth?
Then there was Silver, not begging for her life, but furious for what they’d done to mine. Silver, who only ever tried to love me regardless of the things I’d been through and done. I miss her every second. One of the hardest things this week has been realizing that what I’ve felt these past years wasn’t about love, not really.
Sure, I loved Isla. Of course I did, she was my wife. But it was the guilt that was eating me alive and keeping me from letting anyone else get close.
“I’ll see you tonight,” Lacey chirps, and bounds out the door.
With Lacey occupied, today would be a good day to visit Joshua and wrap things up like Arlow promised him we would. Arlow agrees when I call him, and I drive over to pick him up.
I haven’t seen Silver since that night and I’m not ready to. I don’t resent her. She didn’t ask for any of this, and what she was put through because of me breaks my heart. I chose her life over Isla’s and that hits me every time I picture her face, even though I don’t regret it for a second. In the end, I chose. Now I have to live with it. Isn’t that what we all do? Make our choices and live with them.
Still, I look for her truck when I pull in Arlow’s driveway. “Did Silver go back to work?” I ask as he hops in the passenger seat.
“A couple days ago. She and Calli are out shoppingtoday.” When my only response is a nod, he adds. “She’s doing well.”
“Good.”
We don’t talk much on the drive to the tattoo shop. Arlow thought visiting him there might be better and freak the guy out less than going to his house. If he’s even staying at his house. I sure as hell wouldn’t be if the last thing I heard was that someone wanted me dead.
Joshua looks up from the tools he’s sanitizing, his back stiffening at the sight of us. Arlow holds his hands up. “Everything’s fine. We wanted to return your phone.”
His shoulders relax and he nods. “I haven’t heard from Lisa.” I look around and he realizes my concern. “There aren’t any cameras. It causes too many privacy issues when people have to take their clothes off.”
“Xavier killed her,” I reply and he takes a deep breath.
“Because of me?”
I know exactly how he feels at that moment. “No, it was more complicated than that.” He deserves to know the truth. “Isla…Lisa was the one who was trying to blackmail me to kill you. So that Xavier wouldn’t find out she cheated. But he showed up, everything came out and…neither survived.”
