I hear them over and over as I watch it grow smaller in the distance.
I loved you.
But you love her.
I died for loving you.
Are you happy?
I jolt awake with a strangled gasp, my lungs burning and my heart trying to escape. The sight of Silver lying beside me is the biggest relief, but echoes of Isla’s voice ring in my head.
Are you happy?
CHAPTER 23
SILVER
This isthe best day I’ve had in months. Even my employees comment on what a great mood I’m in. Things are finally turning around for me. There are no worries over losing my diner, and after the holidays, I'll get my property sold and look for a new house. Above all, I don’t have to worry about Lee being in danger anymore. Things are good.
I’m especially pleased when an item I ordered weeks ago gets delivered right after lunch. Lee’s Christmas gift. It took some tracking down, but I think he’ll love it. I tuck it behind the seat of my truck where he won’t see it.
I also sent out the holiday bonuses to my employees along with a reminder that Lucky’s will be closed from Christmas Eve through New Year’s Day. It’s something Mom always did to make sure they all got a paid week of vacation and time to spend with their families. It’s a tradition I plan to carry on.
Even the thought of Mom doesn’t make me sad today. I know how proud she would be for how I’ve gotten through this horrible year. I wish I could tell her about Lee. About how strong and protective and caring he is and how much he’s done for me. I wish I could tell her I’ve fallen in love with the type of man she always wanted me to find.
I haven’t put myself on the schedule for this week before Christmas break so I can come and go as I need to. I have more than enough staff to cover without overworking anyone. I still haven’t decided whether to go to my brothers. Maybe I’ll just go for a night to see them and then come back to spend Christmas with Lee.
It’s after dark when I get home and the house is empty. Justus has taken all his stuff from the guest room and either he or Lee has stripped the bed. I wrap up the gifts I have for my family and friends, then tuck them in the guest room closet. Lee’s is too bulky to wrap so I’ll just put a bow on it when the time comes.
The smell of beef stew fills the kitchen from the crock pot. Lee must’ve put it on this morning since it’s already done. I turn it down to the lowest setting to keep it warm until he gets home. He had plans to see Lacey today since she’s leaving to spend a week with her boyfriend’s family. That’s probably where he is now.
I’m not hungry yet so I pour myself a glass of wine and turn some music on. I feel good, but a little restless. My hips start to move with the song as I open the dishwasher to unload it. By the time I get to the last plate, the wine hasloosened me up, and I dance across to the cabinet to put it away, then turn back to see Lee standing in the doorway.
He watches me for a second, his expression unreadable, and I grin, not embarrassed about being caught dancing around with dishes. I close the distance between us, grab his hands, and pull him closer to dance with me.
He obliges, grabbing my hips and matching my movements as I ask. “Did you see Lacey?”
“I spent most of the day with her, exchanged gifts and everything.”
“What did you get her?”
“I put new tires on her car. I’ve been after her to replace them for months.”
The music changes to a soft slow song and David Gray’s voice slides in to singThis Year’s Love. I hook my arms around Lee’s neck and press my body to his, happy to switch to a slow dance with him. It feels like he hesitates for a moment before putting his arms around me.
We sway together under the kitchen lights. His chest is warm against my cheek, and his heartbeat is steady. I’ve grown to love listening to it with my head resting on him at night. I’ve grown to love him. He cups one hand over the back of my head, and I close my eyes. The house is quiet around us. There’s no tension or threat, just the low hum of the refrigerator, the music, and the shuffle of our feet on the floor.
I lift my head to look into dark eyes, and the words won’t be held back any longer. “Lee, I lo?—”
His finger lands softly on my lips before I can finish.
“Don’t,” he says, his voice thick with despair.
The rest of my declaration dies in my throat and is replaced by a lump. Everything inside me feels like it drops to the floor along with my heart.
“I can’t,” he says quietly. “Please don’t.” He removes his finger from my lips and brushes his hand over my cheek. “I’m sorry.”
The song keeps playing but now it sounds like a lament, a plea when no one is listening. I nod, stepping back out of his arms. My hands fall to my sides, and it feels like someone has peeled my armor away, exposing me.
