“Maybe how you got here doesn’t matter. Maybe all that matters is how you move forward together.”
Ruby suckles effortlessly and I realize just how truly miraculous our bodies are. I watch as CeCe picks up a glass of ice water and drinks half of it.
“I swear, the second my milk lets down I’m so parched.” She grins. “Pro tip if you nurse: Always have ice water.”
“Noted.”
It’s going to be a serious blessing having CeCe a few months ahead of me, and then me a few months ahead of Ginger.
“I really love you, you know,” I whisper to her as Ruby makes adorable little grunting noises at her breast.
She holds eye contact as she sips her water. “I love you too. And you guys are gonna be a great team. Maybe the prince you always dreamed of is just a little different than you planned.”
I look out the window.
“It’s scary to give your heart to someone who may not be able to give you his in return,” I reply softly.
As if he can sense we’re talking about him, Asher looks through the window at me and smirks with a little nod. I know now that it’s his way of making sure I’m good. I smile back at him and nod quickly too. Letting him know I am.
CeCe grins as she watches us. “That doesn’t look hard at all, babe. It looks as natural as breathing.”
CHAPTER 51
Asher
“Ikind of figured you’d be taking a step back now,” Nash answers after I tell him I’ll be leaving the bar permanently. With getting Olivia’s cabinets done, and her living with me, I just have no desire to spend my nights in the bar when I could be home with her. I knew he’d understand, and it seemed like the perfect time to tell him as we sit on his deck, drinking some good coffee and watching the fish jump in the creek behind his house. It’s already obvious that the cooler weather isn’t too far off; the afternoon sun streaming through his pergola isn’t as warm on our skin as it would’ve been a few weeks ago.
“We had Matt doing your job when you were away in Franklinville anyway and most nights since. He needs the hours, so I’m sure he’ll take on the extra responsibility.”
I nod. “Thanks.”
“No problem. I get it.” He looks over his shoulder then leans in a little. “You still working on her cabinets?”
I nod. “Yeah, almost done now. And I’m thinking about what I can make for the baby, for the nursery.”
“Have you managed to talk about where that nursery will be?” he asks as he leans back in his chair.
I shake my head. I’m still getting used to opening up to people like this, but Olivia has made me want to try. “Not yet. We’re long overdue for a talk like that, but we both have a problem with making waves when everything is great as it is.”
“Been there.” Nash drums his fingers against the arm of his chair. “But trust me when I say it will help to talk it out.”
I take a deep breath. I know I can trust Nash; with Ruby being so new, he knows exactly what I have to lose.
“There are some things about my life before I met her that I feel she deserves to know. When this all started, it just seemed easier not to explain the connection I still have to my family.” I look out at the water as I take a deep breath. “A few weeks ago my father died. And I was gonna tell her everything.”
“I’m sorry, man.”
I shake my head. “Don’t be sorry. He isn’t worth it.”
Nash just nods. It’s what I like most about him—he’s a good listener. “She told me she didn’t want to know and that it was easier to leave it all in the past. I know I need to let go of that part of my life. But I’m just living in this state of fear that they’ll get me one day.”
“You’re constantly on edge,” Nash says like he knows the feeling well.
“Exactly. And I’m really struggling to allow myself to accept the good right in front of me.”
“Like you’re not worthy of it.”
My eyes snap to his. “Aye.”
