“Ash?” CeCe’s eyebrows shoot up, ready for the tea. “You two are getting close?”
I shrug. “Hard not to when you live with someone.”
“Mm-hmm,” she muses as she takes another bite. “But that could end soon, right? When do you get your keys back?”
Ruby yawns in her sleep and my heart melts just from watching her perfect little face.
“In a couple weeks. Asher spent last weekend sanding and lacquering my new cabinets, but he won’t let me see them yet. He says the lacquer is bad for me to breathe in. He’s been in his woodshop every free moment he isn’t at work.”
“Or in bed withyou?” She laughs, knowing all about our situation because, of course, I told her and Ginger.
“I suppose.”
“Okay, Liv, time to get honest.” CeCe pops the last of her muffin in her mouth and sets her plate down on the table.
“Yes, Mom,” I say, not lifting my eyes from the perfect little bundle in my arms.
When I side-eye CeCe, she gives me her best stern face, though it’s full of the love she’s always given me since we werefourteen.
“I’ve never seen you this … settled. You’ve always been in a rush. To move on to your next step, your next part of the plan. But now, with him …” She gestures over her shoulder to where the guys sit outside. “And this baby. You don’t seem like you’re in any kind of rush at all.”
I look down at little Ruby happily napping in my arms. “There are moments when I feel like we’re perfect for each other.”
“But?” CeCe asks.
“But we have an understanding about the physical stuff, and I’m not sure that, if I wasn’t pregnant, he’d be in this deep with me. I never want the baby to be the reason he decides to settle down. I’d want it to be because he wantedme.”
“I don’t know if you see it the way the outside world does … He looks at you like you’re his whole universe. In his own possessive and intimidating way.”
She laughs and I know she’s right. Even now, when I glance at him through the glass, Asher’s dark brow is furrowed and he’s positioned himself so that he can still see me, and the whole yard, as if an attacker may rise from Nash’s creek at any point. I’m sure it’s a side effect from always having to be on guard as a child.
I shrug. “I know how he feels now. But will he feel this way after the baby? I’m too afraid to ask him. All I know is that, right now, it’s perfect.”
I shift Ruby in my arms as I continue. “He’s not the type of man I thought I’d fall for. Everything about him is a risk: his past, his job, how muchI’mstarting to care.”
“Life is a risk,” CeCe says pointedly.
“I’m starting to see that. I can’t control my future even when I think I can, and if I’m being honest”—I look out at him on the porch with Nash—“from the first moment I met him, there was something about him. I always know exactly wherehe is, like I can feel him, like there’s this invisible tether between us.”
I glance back at CeCe as I bounce on my toes, rocking Ruby back and forth.
“He doesn’t let anyone in, but I think he’s lettingmein. He’s choosing to open up to me, and that gives me peace. It’s like, when he’s around, I can breathe a little easier because Asher makes me feel steady and secure. I don’t know if that sounds silly or if it even makes sense …”
CeCe smiles at me while she adjusts her pillows under her. She’s still a little sore.
“That makes total and perfect sense.”
“It does?”
Ruby stirs in my arms and opens her pretty little eyes to look up at me, probably hoping to see her mom.
“Yep,” she confirms. “Sounds like maybe you aren’t really interested in moving back into your house at all. And if I didn’t know any better, Liv, I’d say you were in love with that man.”
As Ruby starts to cry, I hand her off to CeCe. My arms feel empty when she’s gone, and I run a hand over my own growing baby bump. I’m barely fitting into my shorts these days, so I’ve resorted to wearing mostly dresses. Being pregnant has shown me how limited cute fashionable maternity clothes are and has inspired me to dig into a deep search and order some sweet designs I’ve found for the store, and for me. Over the last couple weeks, I also swear I’ve felt the baby move. They’re tiny little flutters, like real butterflies.
“Asher’s home feels like our home and, you’re right, I love my house, but I’m dreading leaving his.” I shake my head. “I never expected to be here.”
CeCe starts to nurse Ruby—the sweetest smile on her lips—and it’s such a beautiful sight. We’ve all grown up together and, now, we’re all going through this journey of motherhood together. It makes me teary just watching her.
