“She’s safe,” Nate said as he walked in. “Kate took her to our place. For tonight at least, she’s with us.”
Fuck, I hate that she’s not here.But at the same time, I was relieved.At least she’s with Kate.Kate will make sure she’s okay.
I took another slow sip of my drink and nodded. “Okay. Thanks.”
The sound of his footsteps told me he was coming closer, but I still wasn’t looking at him. I was also still holding her pillow. I heard him sigh when he reached the bar. “That’s not going to help, you know.”
I shrugged. “Neither is anything else.”
Finally looking up at him once I’d heard him pour himself a drink as well, my heart instantly plummeted when I saw the look on his face. Remorse. Worry. “There’s more, isn’t there?”
He grimaced. “She’s going through with the marriage. She told Kate that she’s not backing out, but she asked to speak to Jesse first. One on one. The real Jesse, obviously.”
Everything in me went completely still. Like my body had just… shut down. All I could do was stare at him, not breathing,or blinking, or anything else. Then I sucked my teeth and finally looked away.
My grip tightened around the glass so much, it felt like it might crack.Of course she wants to talk to him. Why wouldn’t she? He’s the one she’s marrying. The guy she thought she was falling for.
Jealousy hit hard, fast, and ugly. Once again, I was the one who’d put in the work and he would get to spend the rest of his life with her. As always, I’d stepped up when our family had needed me to, but Jesse was walking away clean while I was broken. For good this time. I was pretty sure of it.
Everything else followed soon after that. I was suddenly livid, hurt, and there was something else there too, something much deeper and more corrosive. It settled right behind my ribs and refused to move, a red-hot, bone-deep sense of resentment.
“That’s…” I exhaled through my nose and shook my head. “Yeah. Great. Fantastic.”
Nate didn’t respond. Probably because there wasn’t anything to say. Instead, he moved past me until he was behind the bar, standing right across from me. He picked up the bottle, topping off my glass and then reaching for his own.
“This is the worst pain I’ve ever felt,” I said, my voice ragged as I finally sank down on one of the stools, still hugging her fucking pillow. “I don’t… I can’t…”
Nate did me the courtesy of averting his gaze when I swallowed hard, feeling a deep furrow form between my eyebrows. “Yeah. I remember that feeling. Eliza is probably feeling that way right now, too.”
“Thanks.”
“No. No more sulking. She needs to hear from you,” he said after a brief pause. “Before she walks down the aisle.”
I shook my head immediately. “What happened to giving her space?”
“That was before I knew she still planned on marrying him.”
“I think I’ve done enough damage, don’t you? The last thing she needs is me showing up again and making it worse.”
“So don’t make it worse.” Nate pushed off the counter. “You’ll never know if you don’t try. You wanted to go after her a few hours ago. Has that really changed?”
“No, I still do, but this isn’t about what I want. She asked to speak to Jesse,” I reminded him. “Not me. I need to respect that, Nate. She’s had enough taken away from her.”
“Sure, but she asked to speak to the man she’s marrying,” he countered. “That doesn’t mean she doesn’t deserve to hear from the one who was actually there.”
I frowned. “Do you really believe that?”
“I do.”
I stared at the floor and imagined trying to fix something that felt fundamentally broken. It sounded impossible, but if the alternative was doing nothing, then that was even worse.
“Fine,” I muttered eventually. “If you can set something up, I’ll try.”
He nodded. “I’ll talk to Kate.”
I exhaled slowly, not entirely sure if I’d just made the best decision of my life or the worst. But either way, I had to at least try. I’d never forgive myself if I didn’t.
CHAPTER 38
