My mind was trying to piece something together.
Whispering at the sight of me that first night.Unorthodox. Special request.
The Beta randomly vacating his spot on the exact day I’d been to the Eros Institute.
But no, that would be too far-fetched. I just felt so broken that I was grasping at straws, trying to understand how my improving circumstances had so quickly spiraled back to an utter catastrophe.
Besides, if it was never the plan to let me stay at Saint’s Shelter, why bring the priest in? Why make a big show of offering me the world?
The room was small with a coin operated vibrating bed. The carpet had such a crazy pattern that I couldn’t distinguish between stains and intentional marks. I collapsed on the bed, functioning just long enough to release Josie. I don’t know how long I stayed there, staring at the ceiling, dissociating. Somehow, though, I shook myself alive again. Ibreathed in and out, blowing myself up until I transformed back into a real person.
Josie meowed happily, as if greeting me after a long absence. I hated that we were unmoored yet again. We’d barely had a chance to anchor. I dug through the briefcase after sitting up, pulling out one of the Omega tonics for my dry throat and a can of cat food. There were no plates in the room, but I used the compact glass plate in the ancient microwave as a serving tray for Josie. After popping the pull lid, I had to tap it repeatedly to dislodge the cylinder of compressed salmon, carrots and rice.
When she sniffed at it imperiously, the same way she’d treated dumpster sandwiches, I started crying. Josie didn’t care where we slept. She didn’t care what we ate. As long as we were together, we’d find a way to continue.
I twisted off the lid to the tonic and gulped it down quickly.
“What now, silly cat?” I mused, still trying to fight waves of fear and sadness which threatened to backslide me to a near comatose state.
She stretched, arched her back, and padded over to one of the pillows, nesting against it after a moment of pawing and kneading. Watching her reminded me that I would be in heat again soon. It hadn’t been at the forefront of my mind while at the shelter. I’d felt more stable there, less fearful of going into my cycle. It had been that way when I was younger, safe at home with all the creature comforts and my mother making sure I was pampered.
As if thinking about it undid the pause that the peace of the shelter had provided, I was suddenly hit by a wave of paranoia. My body grew warm, then hot. Sweat built quickly, running down my back and pooling against my buttocks.
I moved to the janky floor air conditioning and turned it on. It rattled and protested but eventually puffed out dust and a stream of cold air. I leaned against it, hoping it would be enough.
As I stood there, dying, the room’s phone rang. I ignored it the first time. Then it rang again. Six times. Silence. Again. Five trills. Silence. The sixth time it rang, I moved quickly to it and picked up the receiver.
“You’ve got thewrong?—”
But I couldn’t finish the sentence.
“Ah, Miss Fortune. I can tell it’s you by your voice. Such a lovely voice.” The speaker on the other line sounded familiar, but I was so hot and tired and emotionally drained that it didn’t click.
“How do you know my name?” I fanned myself with my hand. The symptoms flash was calming, my body re-regulating. If I were smart, I’d leave tomorrow and save the rest of my cash. That way, when I actually went into my heart, I could pay to stay again.
“It’s Beta Love.” How had I not recognized his very distinct, brutally happy voice?
“Oh, okay. How did you know I was—” I stopped the question, because I knew how he’d known to find me here. I’d said the shelter or this crap motel. “Right, the extra compensation.”
“It’s even better than that, Miss Fortune. I’m just so, so thrilled for you. It’s a top match.” He sort of sang the words, as if it was the best news in the world.
“I don’t know what that means. Can I make more money?” I felt sick even asking. As if I hadn’t been through enough torture, I was ready to do it again for a little cash. What would my family think of me?
“Much, much more than that, Miss Fortune. Now that I’ve verified it’s you, everything will be put in order.”
God, I could hear his stupid grin through the phone. He really was the perfect person to represent the Cupid Company division.
“What do you mean put in order?” My brain was so tired. Everything was spinning.
“Don’t worry your pretty head, Miss Fortune. I wish you the very, very best. I’m really so excited for you. Goodbye!” Beta Love hung up before I could ask another clarifying question.
Bizarre. Everything was so damn strange.
Feeling a bit better, I propped up the pillows Josie wasn’t using, and I turned on the vintage television. I had to flip through thirty or so channels before I found one that came through clearly. Game shows. Not exactly my cup of tea, but it was mindless fun.
I heard growing voices in the hallway about an hour later. I ignored it, assuming they were other guests.
But then the knock came. After what happened with Sister Grant, and knowing the motel didn’t allow pets either, I put Josie quickly in the briefcase and slung it over my shoulder for safekeeping. I hadn’t taken off the shoes, mostly because Lily had practically taped them to my skin because of their design leaving so many gaps.
