“Yes.Because I think what you just said … I wish more people knew it when they were teenagers.You’ve got to have things to live for.I wonder if that was Melanie’s problem.She knew what our parents wanted for her.And she didn’t want it.”
“What did they want?”
“Melanie was a ballerina,” she said.“She was so pretty when she danced.It was so important to my mom, but there was a point where I think it wasn’t important to Melanie anymore.More than that, it was a burden.I think being with Ty felt like an escape.And drugs were like an express train right out of that future.She didn’t want the pressure anymore.And I get it.But I wish she’d found another outlet for herself.I wish she’d known what she wanted.”
His eyes were assessing, and she felt something stir in her chest.“What about you?What made you decide to be a teacher?”
“I wanted the chance to reach even one kid like my sister.To be there to ask the right questions, which I didn’t do with her.To …” She closed her eyes.“I think it’s important.I think teenagers are brilliant and bright and vulnerable.They make these huge, life-altering decisions about their bodies and their futures, and their frontal lobes aren’t even fully developed.And I just … I care.It’s really hard sometimes.”
“Yeah, I can’t remember being too nice to any of my teachers.Seems like a thankless job.”
“No.I wouldn’t say that.”
“But do you do it for you?Or is it just for her?”
His question was insightful.“Yes,” she said.“I do it for me.”
“For more than just your guilt?”
She laughed.“Yes.I like English.I have an English degree.You have to do something with it.”
He laughed.“Well, money isn’t really your number one objective, then.”
She shook her head.“No.It’s not.Partly because … I grew up in a house with plenty of it.But money didn’t fix everything.Growing up the way that you did is hard.But …”
“Middle ground would be nice,” he said.
“Yeah.Middle ground would be great.Enough money.Enough love.What a concept.”
“I think we’re going to do pretty well.”
“Well, I need to pack my stuff up so that we can get it all moved in.”
“Guess that’s a project for tomorrow,” he said.
“I guess so.One step at a time.”
CHAPTER6
Well.He was moving her into his house.So that was happening.
Not into his room.Not into his bed.
He shouldn’t have even had that thought.
His stomach was tight as he helped her load boxes in the back of his truck, boxes she had packed quickly, because she didn’t really have any furniture and was only coming with clothes and a few items of memorabilia.
He walked back into the house and made eye contact with Mrs.C.Just looking at her made him feel as if he had missed the deadline on something.He didn’t know why the hell she still had the power to make him feel that way.He hadn’t cared about biology when he was in her classroom.
“I haven’t seen you in years,” she said, smiling at him.
“Yeah,” he said, because he wasn’t sure what to say to that.It wasn’t like he was going to hang around the high school.He wasn’t a teacher like Ellie.
“I followed a little bit of your rodeo career, Clark, believe it or not.You’ve done incredibly well for yourself.”
He still didn’t know how to take compliments like that.Notthat he heard them so often.Sure, he had fans, but for the most part people in town still saw him as a product of his family, and it was unusual for anyone who had known him in high school to say something complimentary.
He didn’t know what it would take for him to feel accomplished.
