Jumping right into the deep end.Maybe not being an addict wasn’t enough to be a good parent.Maybe he wouldn’t be able to sort his priorities out because he hadn’t been raised to know what they should be.
“I really need you to move in,” he said.“Because at least you know what a family is supposed to look like.I don’t.I built this house, but I’m not even sure what I did it for.Except that it looked right.It’s like a TV set, isn’t it?Perfect and just so, but with no real life to it.I don’t know anything about being part of a family.Maybe between the two of us, we can figure it out.”
CHAPTER5
For Ellie, todayfiguring it outtook the form of talking to Angelica about moving out within the week—Angelica didn’t mind at all; the arrangement had never been intended to be long-term—and going to the store to pick up some supplies for Marjorie.
Clark wanted to go to a big-box store about a half hour away, while she wanted to visit some of the boutiques in town.
The trouble with small towns was there was no way they were going to be able to keep people from asking questions.
The main street had changed significantly in the last few years.A revival of people supporting local shops and restaurants instead of chain stores meant that there were new boutiques popping up all the time.Sometimes they didn’t last.Getting business right in a town this size was difficult.
But it also meant that a lot of the shop owners were people who were new to town, strangers to both Ellie and Clark, and honestly, that suited her just fine.
Main Street was dotted with statues.A majestic bald eagle, a pioneer woman.A shirtless cowboy who—though she was loathto admit it—reminded her a little bit of Clark.The image of him shirtless yesterday was still on her mind.
She tried to ignore that thought as they continued down the street, with Clark holding Marjorie and Ellie taking the lead.
The baby was so tiny in his arms.And she really couldn’t look at him holding her for too long, because it made a whole chain reaction go off inside her.An unsuspected hormonal response that was heretofore unknown to her, suddenly cascading through her body.
Bodies were like that.Susceptible to biological imperatives and whatever else.
She didn’t need to be a science teacher to know that.
When they walked into the first boutique, she felt as if her chest might cave in.Everything inside it was so tiny and cute.The pink, frilly little outfits sent a rush through her.Oh God.Where was all this coming from?She’d been perfectly happy to wait to have kids and …
She felt guilty.Guilty that she was having this moment when her sister wasn’t.Guilty that her sister’s baby was fulfilling something inside her when …
“Are you okay?”
Oh, now he was being nice.
“I’m fine,” she said.
“Welcome in,” said a smiling woman behind the counter.She had big blond curls and a T-shirt that was knotted up beneath her breasts, a long, high-waisted skirt with a loud geometric pattern swirling around her legs.
“Thank you,” Ellie said.
“Aren’t you just the cutest couple.And what a sweet baby.”
She and Clark looked at each other, mutually wondering if this was going to be their life.Every parent-teacher conference.Every holiday, every event.People were going to wonder what the connection between them was.
And without getting into the messy family history, there was no way to neatly explain who they were to each other.
Especially not now, when they were adopting Marjorie.They were going to be her parents.So she just smiled, and so did Clark.
“She’s a fresh one,” the lady said.
“Yes,” Ellie said, “and we need pretty much everything.”
“Really?No baby shower?”
Yes.Small-town shopping.She should have anticipated that even if she didn’t know the shopkeeper, it was going to be weird.
“We … adopted her.Or we are adopting her.She was placed with us just a couple of days ago.So it’s a surprise.”
“Oh,” the woman said, her eyes filling with tears.“That’s so lovely of you both.”
