‘Hey, can I get one of those?’ I ask idly.
‘No,’ she says briskly.
‘OnLove Islandthey’d give us one,’ I tease.
Posh Louise raps her knuckles on the table, clearly nothaving any of my nonsense today. ‘I’ve just spoken to Reb about your little incident with Carys.’
‘I wouldn’t call it an incident so much as a spat,’ I say, keeping my voice easy breezy.
‘As far as I’m concerned, as long as you haven’t punched the girl, all is fine. The only thing is that Carys has put in a room transfer because of your argument over Patrick.’
Interesting that Carys picked the same argument cover as me. I mean, it makes the most sense – what else are two heterosexual women most likely to fight about on a high-intensity show that ends with weddings?
It’s weird that we’re somehow on the same page even when we’re fighting, or whatever this is.
‘Bridget’s roommate Lina is going to swap with Carys, so you’ll room with her. That alright? While she packs, you can stay out here and do some interviews for us.’
I try to school my face so that the surprise I feel doesn’t leak out. ‘Interviews?’
‘Babe,’ she says, fixing her eyes at me over the rim of her glasses. ‘Arguments over men is what the show lives for. Work with me here. You’ve already made paperwork for me and Ihaaatepaperwork.’
Provided I stick to the same script as what I told Whit, this should play alright. Yes, there’ll be differences between Carys’s and my versions of the story, but as they say there’s always three sides to any story – hers, mine and the truth.
‘Of course.’
Louise beams at me. ‘Good! I knew you wouldn’t let me down.’
While Carys had occupied the bathroom, I’d got dressed into my loungewear set but I’m still wearing last night’s makeup, plus some of Carys’s. ‘Louise, can you get me some of my makeup before you stick me in front of the big lights?’
‘Oh, but it’s so much more authentic if you look like you’ve just been pulled out the fight.’
She gets up then frowns. I try not to be offended as she leans across the table to get a better look at me. Even more so when she turns on her phone torch. I can only imagine just how many chin hairs she’s lighting up. ‘Actually, on second thoughts, I’ll get someone to go get your makeup for you.’
‘Thanks,’ I say flatly.
When I get back to the dorms, a few of the girls are sitting in the living room, but the atmosphere is off. I guess everyone knows about our fight now.
Lovely Lina gets up to greet me. You can always trust a Scot to be sound, so I know we’ll be alright in this weird shift around.
‘You doing okay?’ she asks, her voice lower than usual, which is impressive given how soft-spoken she is.
I answer honestly. ‘Not really.’
‘Are you a hugger?’
‘I’ll take one if you’re offering.’
I wish I could turn off the part of my brain that thinks about what this will look like on TV, but given Lina is much shorter than me, and has to discreetly turn her face to the side so she’s not directly motorboating me, I can’t escape into the hug completely.
Posh Louise strides in purposefully followed by one of the other handlers, a man who looks like he could blow away in a strong breeze, who Lina tells me is called Liam. They gather the remaining women into the living room.
I take a seat on the couch next to Lina, who insists on holding my hand as though I’m going through some personal bereavement rather than having my roommate choose to leave our shared space. Perhaps she can sense the gay drama.
Whit perches next to me on the armrest. ‘You good?’
‘I will be.’ I try to look like thegirl who is going to be okaymeme that Jas sends me whenever I’ve had a vaguely trying day.
I try not to notice Carys and Bridget hanging back, choosing to stand behind another couch instead of sitting, for maximum distance.
