‘You scare me,’ Dolly says with a smile.
‘You know,’ Lina begins slowly, ‘I’m not sure I’ve ever really thought about the gender of the person I’m dating. Like, yes, I know I like men, but I don’t think that means I’d ever rule out women? Like Dolly says, people are people, and I think it’s perhaps not such a big deal for me.’
The sound of the room blurs, like I’m suddenly underwater.
Is that… possible?
How can it not be a big deal for her?
And I thought peopleknowwhen they’re kids, isn’t that the whole ‘born this way’ line? Maybe this is just another social rule I’ve misunderstood; it wouldn’t be the first. Or maybe I’m just naive.
The conversation moves on before I can ask Lina what she really means, because everyone is suddenly arguing about CrossFit, because it seems one of the men is an instructor. What is CrossFit? I keep picturing angry strong man cartoons working out together.
They must have started arguing about something because the volume of the room shoots up, and now I really do have to cover my ears. I don’t even know what started it but suddenly Lina stands up on the couch and claps her hands once. ‘That’s enough.’ Everyone falls silent. She’s a Pilates instructor, I think, so I guess she’s used to wrangling rooms of stressed-out, hangry women. ‘Arguing brings bad energy, and fighting over men is not very feminist.’
‘Now’s not the time for cat fights, ladies,’ calls Lucas Nguyen’s familiar voice. I’m not sure calling itcat fightsis very feminist either, but there we go.
Somehow, he’s in our dormitory, the cameras trailing him. It’s funny seeing a popstar, or ex-popstar I guess, wandering around.
I school my face as Lucas struts over, carrying a shiny red box. ‘It’s time for you to request your second dates. You can select as many men for second dates as you like, but the date will only happen if the match is mutual.’ He spins to the camera that has followed him in and gives it a winning smile. ‘We’re all about consent here onWedded Bliss.’
He turns back to us to continue his speech. ‘If both of you request a date, then you’ll continue your stay in the warehouse and have a second date, still unseen. But if you get no mutual matches, you’ll be sent home.’
There’s a collective gulp as this sinks in. I didn’t realise we could be sent home so quickly. This is all moving so fast.
‘Let’s get voting, ladies!’ Lucas calls.
I’m surprised to see Reb still working, but she rushes over with a stack of paper and pencils, handing a set out to each of us. It’s all so retro; a bit like voting in a UK election – put your X in the box next to your candidate’s name.
It’s weird to know that, right now, Patrick is looking at his own version of the list. Will he pick me too? I hope so. I mark an X next to him.
I’m not sure if it’s eyes on your own page, like with voting, but I can’t help notice Dolly checking off a few men. She catches me looking.
‘Nosy,’ she teases, but I’m confused.
‘I thought you’d just pick Warren,’ I whisper.
She shrugs. ‘Still keeping my options open.’
They say if you go looking, you’ll find something, though I know that’s more about men’s phones than the voting paper of your roommate on a reality television show. But still, my stomach squirms when I see the X on her paper next to Patrick. What is she doing? I thought she wanted to size him up for me, but did she actually mean forher?
I feel hot all over and I’m not sure why, because if shelikes Patrick, thenfine, she should be with him, but she liked Warren, didn’t she? That’s what she said. I would step aside if there was something between them. Is this jealousy?
God, I hate neurotypicals sometimes. They never say what they mean!
I put an X next to Warren. And then a few more men, because it’s not about her, actually. I should just be sensible, and give a few of these men more of my time, because Lina’s right – it’s hard to know them in just an hour. I barely heard anything Cobey said, so I should give him some more time at least.
I fold up my slip, and as I reach to put it in Lucas’s box, my hand collides with Dolly’s, attempting the same thing. I swear I get a little electric shock, but she doesn’t seem to notice.
My roommate. My first friend here. The woman I watched stride into traffic. I don’t want to feel strange, complicated things about her. I don’t want us to feel like we’re competing for the same man. I don’t want to be angry with her. I just wish I understood her a bit better.
She gives me a big warm smile that I struggle to return.
‘Gosh, I’m tired,’ I say, rubbing my forehead with the back of my hand. I hope the movement covers any springing tears.
‘Me too,’ she whispers back. She’s acting like nothing is wrong so maybe nothingiswrong. But why does it feel… bad? Some flavour of bad I can’t parse.
‘Okay, ladies, I’ll be back in the morning to hand out the good, and possibly some bad, news,’ Lucas says.
