‘Is this for school?’ he asks, pretending to be serious.
‘… Yes.’
‘Don’t listen to her,’ I say. ‘She’s doing all the sciences so she can be a microbiologist.’
‘Yeah, andmaybeI want to use the platform to educate people about science and stuff.’
‘And stuff? Dead convincing, there, Jas.’
‘It’s cool, I’ll do it,’ Warren says, getting up from the table and taking the dirty cake plates with him.
‘He’s on athletic rest!’ I call after them. ‘Be gentle with him.’
Jas bounces on the balls of her feet. ‘I’ll pick an easy one.’
They disappear into the back garden, leaving Mum and me finally alone. The saying ‘you could cut the tension with a knife’ was not designed with us in mind. It’s so thick it strangles.
‘He’s nice,’ she says. ‘Good lad.’
‘He is,’ I say with a little too much pride. ‘I like him a lot.’
She harrumphs but says nothing.
‘Come on, Mum. Let’s hear it.’ I sigh. ‘I know you weren’t happy with me going on—’
‘Why exactly are you doing this, Dolores?’ Her uncharacteristic use of my full name is a shock to the system, and she fixes me with unimpressed eyes.
‘I explained it all to you before. Influencing, it’s just not stable enough as a long-term business. I needed to put some roots down into other industries. Make a name for myself. I can’t go back to the kitchen, Mum. You know that.’
I wonder how much she and Auntie Carol have been talking about this in my absence. I want to ask her if she’s been tuning in. What she thinks of everyone.
She stares at me over the steaming cup of tea. ‘And he’s fine with this all being a business arrangement, as you put it?’
‘Yes.’
‘And what if you’re found out?’
I circle the handle of my cup with my finger. ‘There’s always a way to spin it. Like, we say we wanted to keep dating but had to get married for that to happen. Or that we realised late on there were differences we hadn’t accounted for. People have been doing it for years. We wouldn’t be the first couple from reality television to milk it for our collective gain.’
The problem with being something of a professional bullshitter is that there’s alwaysoneperson who can see right through you to your core, and unfortunately for me, that person happens to be my mother.
‘I didn’t raise a liar, Dolores.’ She says it so flatly, looking right at me, that I think I might crumble.
‘Mum?’ I try to reach for her hand, but she moves hers, sitting back. I swear she looks at me like I am a stranger. After so many weeks away, I feel like I might be. ‘Are you feeling alright?’
She scoffs. ‘Oh, because I’m narked at you there must be something wrong with me? I’m grand, actually. Apart from being vexed by your personal and professional decisions, but what would I know? I’m only your mother.’
I feel the urge to explain myself, but how do you do that when the person who disagrees with your decisions is the person you did it all for? ‘Mum—’
‘Come on, Doll. I’m pissed off with you. Let me be annoyed about it.’
‘I know you don’t like what I do for work but—’
‘I couldn’t give a hoot what you do for your job, and if we had to survive on less, we’d manage it. We’ve always found a way to make do. I’m the mother in this house, it’s supposed to be my burden.’
‘Is that what you’re upset about? That you’re not in charge?’ That’s a bit over the line, even I can see that. ‘I didn’t mean—’
‘I didn’taskyou to do this,’ she continues, and I really hear the anger in her voice. ‘I wouldneverhave asked you to give up your life in this way.’
