I think that’s even more embarrassing than her seeing me at my most vulnerable.
Reb returns, freeing me from the prickling in my head that could be the meltdown hangover or Dolly-generated. ‘Do you need anything? I hope you’re feeling a bit better.’
‘I still feel awful,’ I say before I can really think it through.
‘Oh. You can sit this one out if you want?’ she suggests hesitantly. ‘It would… have to be both of you, though.’
That decides it. I don’t want either of us missing out, especially if there are prizes up for grabs.
‘No, I’ll push through,’ I say, trying to sound confident.
‘Good,’ she says, a little too relieved. ‘Migraines are a total slag.’
I burst into giggles that hurt my head but do make me feel better. ‘They are.’
‘Okay, time to get ready. Look, your man is here.’
Patrick replaces Reb at my side, and I beam up at him. He really is lovely.
Whatever this challenge brings, I hope we rise to meet it together.
‘Look at our wonderful betrothed couples!’ cries Lucas with CBBC level enthusiasm as he and Karina arrive, all shiny and golden.
They walk round to one end of the rows of cardboard circles.
‘Now, together you will face many challenges and travel the River of Life together, but we wanted to get a read on how well you’ve got to know each other so far,’ says Karina, her eyes wide in wild excitement.
The cue cards in their hands reflect the bright sunlight, and I try not to wince as the light flickers in my eyes.
‘And so we brought you to a literal river of life!’ Lucas cries with even more excitement.
We all look down at where they are gesturing at the cardboard circles and lines on the lawn. It’s… well, I don’t want to be rude, but a little less impressive than they are making it out to be. It’s not really a river either. We’re on grass.
I realise my internal pedantry means I’ve missed Karina’s short explanation of the game, though it seems to be just write an answer and hope it matches Patrick’s.
And then Karina adds, ‘The first couple to meet in the middle get to secure their dream wedding venue.’
A commotion of gasps surrounds us. I wonder if the other couples picked their venues while I was sleeping. Bridget and Lina exchange nervous glances and it dawns on me that there might be a rule that none of us can have the same venue.
I need that country house.
‘We’ve hand-selected the best venues in the country, but who will get first pick? Let’s find out. Couples? Line up!’
Okay, okay. This is important. I pull out the last remnants of my energy, knowing I’ll pay for this later.
I line up at the starting point, Patrick directly opposite me. There are ten stepping stones between us, with a blue line in the middle. That means five questions with matching answers to win. We can do that.
To my left, Dolly and Warren high-five. I hate how confident they are that they can beatrealcouples. They can’t know each other that well; he doesn’t even know she’s gay.
They have nothing on Patrick and me. We’ve been learning about what matters about each other – how we feel, how we act, what’s most important to us. I mean, yes, he doesn’t know I’m autistic yet, but we understand each other.
Urgh, I regret pretending that I’m well enough. I’m groggy, like the edges of the world are still a bit muffled.
‘You’ve all had a chance to think about your upcoming wedding,’ Karina asks, confirming my suspicions. ‘Whitand Malachi, what do you picture when you think of your wedding?’
I try to focus as they gush about this little church near Malachi’s grandma’s home in London. Luckily, it doesn’t sound like what we want. I mean, I don’t think we’re having a church wedding.
The conversation moves on to Dolly and Warren and my thoughts grind to a halt when Warren says, ‘We’re weighing up some options, but one I really liked that I didn’t expect to be my vibe was the beautiful old country house.’
