“Pyetar, this can’t happen.” She gestured between them. “Regardless of whether your brother is a threat. That may have been what held you back, but I can’t do this. Even once my family is safe.”
“I don’t understand,” Pyetar said softly. “I’ve seen how you look at me. You’ve risked yourself for me; you’re protecting me. Do you truly not care for me?”
That was the problem; shedidcare. Gods, it hurt. “It isn’t that. You’re a good man, Pyetar. But that isn’t for me.”
“You’re really so afraid that you won’t let yourself be happy?” His voice was rough with frustration.
“You don’t know me! You may think you do, but you’re wrong.” She was shaking now. “You don’t even know I just kissed your brother!”
Pyetar jerked back, anger flashing in his eyes. “Don’t use my brother to push me away. I don’t believe for a second you wanted him to kiss you. That you didn’t think you needed to do it for your plan to work. You’ll do anything for your family.I know you. You don’t fool me.”
She looked away. “If you knew me, you’d know this will never happen. I don’t want it to.”
“You’re fooling yourself.” He took a step back. “But don’t worry, I understand now.”
Pain stabbed into her chest. “Pyetar—”
“Good luck,” he said coldly, before turning and leaving her there.
Iryana leaned back against the tower wall, trying to calm her ragged breaths. She knew they could never be together, but why did ithurtso bad?
Sliding down the wall until she was curled on the floor, Iryana let herself cry.
“That was so incredibly stupid,” Vaneshta snapped at Lidishta the next day as they marched away from the downed beast.
Their newest team member glared, still panting slightly.
“I don’t need you taking after her and her reckless choices.” Vaneshta pointed right at Iryana.
Iryana bristled, but she looked away. She had no interest in being part of their argument. She was all nerves, and their bickering wasn’t helping.
They were on a small patrol through relatively safe woods, circling the fort for a few days. Just Vaneshta, Lidishta, and herself.
She had to get away soon, to watch her sister take down Karvek, make sure everything went according to plan. She’d been preparing for her chance to slip away, an excuse to be away from the fort that Karvek couldn’t question. The perfect cover. It would have been easier if she could have gotten Vaneshta to help her. She knew Vaneshta disliked Karvek’s rule, but was it enough to be okay with killing him? She couldn’t risk it.
So instead, Iryana had slowly built the tension between them over the last couple days. Acted more recklessly, more argumentatively. And it had been working. Vaneshta was about fed up with her.
Lidishta stood up straighter, stepping into Vaneshta’s space. “I’m sorry,Sergeant, but I took the beast down. I don’t know what your problem is.”
“Taking it on yourself was an unnecessary risk; we were right there!”
“I’ve seen you do the same, take them on yourself,” Lidishta argued back haughtily.
Vaneshta pressed her mouth together, her fists squeezing and shaking like she was struggling to hold something in. She took a sharp breath. “That’s different.”
Lidishta propped her hands up on her hips. “When will you acknowledge I am a good fighter too?”
“When you stop trying to show off! I am not a risk-taker. I don’t show off or take on more than I can handle. I am a strong fighter, with strong forgings. Don’t take the same risks as me, because they won’t turn out as well for you!”
“You sure think highly of yourself, don’t you!”
“There is a reason I made sergeant at only twenty-two.”
Iryana considered ways to stop their arguing, but she didn’t want to call attention to herself. She needed to focus on coming up with a way to leave. Karvek knew she was on the mission, which gave her an excuse to be out of the fort, and she promised him she’d celebrate his success at finding his mole when she returned. She just needed a reason to leave her patrol.
It was nearly midday, and the meeting was at dusk.
“Just because you’ve always hated me—”
