“You should coin that word.”
“I think I just did.” He picked up the Rubik’s Cube and tossed it from hand to hand. “You’re not quite what I expected.”
She flinched. “I know.”
“You know?”
“That I’m nowhere near as cool as Kick It Carter? I’mveryaware.”
“But youareKick It Carter.”
“No, I’m not.” Carter sounded exasperated. “Not the Kick It Carter that everyone expects, anyway. The filter I use is this cute, fashionable cartoon. And I’m . . .” She gestured helplessly at her Mathletes shirt.
Beck tossed the Rubik’s Cube higher, working it into a nice spin in the air. “In our circles, math makes you cool.”
“Not the point. But it’s probably easy for you.” Carter dropped onto the mattress. “You seem like you have no problem talking to people. I wish I could walk into a room and know what to say to strangers. But without a preplanned script and a video editing feature, I turn into this awkward, bumbling mess.” She watched the Rubik’s Cube rocket up and down. “I thought it would be different inside the room. Like I’d hear Fitzy’s voice telling me to escape, and boom! I’d become a whole new person who’s confident and smart and all the things I pretend to be online. But I was useless in the snag round.”
“You weren’t useless.” Beck stopped tossing the Rubik’s Cube.
It was like breaking a spell. Carter wrapped her arms around her chest and curled into herself. “When people see the real me, they’re going to be so disappointed. I shouldn’t have come here.”
Beck tried to empathize, but he’d never wanted to hide who he was. He refused to wear dresses after age three, started going by Beck at age five, and no one in his family had been surprised when he’d officially declared that he was a boy. A couple of aunts and uncles admitted that they didn’t quite “get it,” but they were still supportive in their own way.
And sure, some people thought his personality was a bitmuch, but boo to the haters. He was a born optimist, and if the pessimists wanted to criticize that, let them. Given half a chance—and an endless supply of cat videos and Skittles—he was pretty sure he could win them over to his side in the long run.
It baffled him how so many people could walk around pretending to be anyone other than their awesome selves. And this wasCarter Kellyhe was talking to. One of the coolest people—well, avatars—he followed online.
“My cousin has a Domain channel, too. KaPowPow?”
“Oh, I’ve seen her stuff. She’s the one that talks about all the tech in the show, right? She’s really good.”
“Yeah, she is. But she’s told me that her influencer persona sometimes feels like wearing a costume. It gives her confidence, but it’s not really her. Sort of like you and your avatar. Have you tried pretending that you’re behind a filter when the cameras are on?”
“It’s not that easy. Today it was like I had these two voices screaming inside my head. One was telling me to focus on the puzzles and not worry about anything else. The other was criticizing everything I did. Reminding me that I was on camera. The Clue Masters are going to see this. They’ll be watching—judging. And now I’m worried that everyone will expect me to step up as leader, but I can’t compete with Sierra!”
Beck began twisting the colored blocks. “Do you even want to compete with Sierra?”
“And have her treat me the same way she treated Elijah? No thank you.”
“Okay. But if it wasn’t for Sierra, would you want to be leader?”
“Everyone expects—”
“Forget what everyone expects. What doyouwant?”
Carter let out a dramatic sigh. “To have never auditioned for this show in the first place.”
Beck managed to turn a whole side of the Rubik’s Cube red, but there was no way to complete the other sides without ruining his progress. “How about we start with something we can actually achieve, then work our way up to time travel?”
“Great idea. I vote we start with me not getting murdered in my sleep.” Carter sat up. Her perfect curls had started to frizz. “Also, not getting yelled at by executive producers.”
“Those should be easy enough to avoid.”
Carter smiled wryly. “You’d think so, wouldn’t you? Here.” She plucked the Rubik’s Cube from his hand. “There are tricks to this.” A few twists of the wrist later, and the cube was solved.
“Whaaaat!” Beck took the cube back from her, inspecting all six sides. “That was incredible. And you think you’re not cool?”
Carter smiled slightly. That was encouraging. Beck was nervous enough about having Sierra on his team. He couldn’t have Carter falling apart on him, too.
