I think back on the conversation we had in the cabin, where I laid my heart out to her and told her it was all or nothing. And she told me she was moving on in six months. I gave her an ultimatum when I’d only known her properly for less than a week. It was enough for me to be sure. But I’ve been around longer than Brooke, I know what love looks like. I know thatwhen you meet someone special, you’ve got to grab them with both hands, because you may be waiting years before you get the chance again.
I told her it was all or nothing, and she chose nothing. But did I even ask her to stay?
I glance up at Dana. “I didn’t ask her directly. I respect her lifestyle and her reasons for leaving.”
Dana shakes her head in exasperation. “Stop being so damned honorable. Tell her how you feel and beg her to stay.”
“What if she still says no? What if she stays for a while and then decides to leave?” I sound again like the teenager here, uncertain and scared. But it broke my heart when Mina passed, and it’s scary putting myself out there again.
Dana squeezes my arm. “Then you’ll be sad for a while, but you’ll pick yourself up and get on with life.”
I’m not sure how the hell we got to a place where I’m taking relationship advice from my daughter, but here we are.
“But…” she squeezes my arm again. “What if she says yes?”
I imagine Brooke moving into my house, waking up next to her every morning, showing her the best hikes on the mountain, family dinners with the four of us. Brooke, with a round belly, a second chance, an opportunity to be a different kind of dad.
My chest expands, and I sit back in my chair. The room seems brighter, as if I’m seeing it for the first time.
Dana chuckles. “There you go.”
I suddenly know, more than anything, that I want a life with Brooke, whatever that looks like. I push my chair back. “What time does her classes finish?”
Dana’s smiling broadly. “Not till three, but she’s staying late to help some of the students with their final project. It’s due today, and not everyone has it finished.”
I run a hand through my hair. “Okay. I’ll wait.”
Dana claps her hands together. “You have to shower and shave first, Dad; you can’t see her like this.”
I look down at my coffee-stained shirt. Once again, she’s right.
I frown at Dana. “You’re still on study break. Get some textbooks out.”
Dana huffs, but she’s smiling as she reaches into her bag. “Sure Dad.”
22
BROOKE
Idon’t bother turning on the entryway lights as I enter my apartment. I know exactly where the cardboard box is and drop my purse onto it before slipping into the kitchen.
The only sound is the hum of the fridge and a steady drip from the faucet that I haven’t gotten around to calling the landlord about.
I open the fridge and pull out a pizza box with three slices left in it. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I’m aware living on takeout and toast may be a decision I regret later in life, but right now, I can’t bring myself to care. Cooking a meal seems like a lot of work when only one person is going to eat it.
I put the entire pizza box into the microwave and stare at it as it turns in a slow circle, around and around and around.
I stayed late at the school to help some students finish their projects and meet the deadline. I gave Madison an extension due to an anxiety episode she had earlier this week. But aside from that, every other student has sent me their final project.
Still in the box, I carry my pizza through to the living room and dump it onto the table. I grab a slice and almost burn my lip on the melted cheese.
It’s greasy, and I grab a paper towel to wipe off my hands.
I open my laptop and find the first student’s video. I may as well get the grading out of the way. This is the biggest project I have to grade at Hope High School. Then I can turn my focus to next year and to the new school.
Waiting in my inbox is a job offer from the new school. I had the final video interview last week for a yearlong English teaching position. The offer arrived this morning. It’s a good offer; reasonable pay, good benefits, and one of the teachers has a beachfront property she can rent out to me.
I just need to reply and accept.
