“Well, princess,” he says haughtily, “you’d better get used to it. This is the world you’re in now. You can’t fold at every confrontation.”
I narrow my eyes. “I’m not folding at confrontation.”
He raises his eyebrows in skepticism. “You can’t call every single person who pisses you offrudeandadick.”
“Why not? You’re being rude and a dick, so I’m going to call you on it,” I say, leaning away from him.
He smirks as he notes me distancing myself from him. “That’s not how this kingdom works. You have to hide your anger and insults in politeness. It’s an art. You’re too explosive, too quick to react.”
“What are you even still doing here?” I ask him, annoyance lacing every word. “Do you just want to argue with me?”
“Oh, I’m finding this immensely entertaining, princess,” he says, now leaning away from me as he rests against the window frame, black eyes watching me carefully.
“Stop calling me that. It’s disrespectful. I’m your High Queen, and you will treat me as such,” I say with a confidence I don’t quite feel.
“Oh? I thought you were happy to be treated like any normal person. Is that not what August just said?”
I stop the retort before it explodes out of my mouth and swallow the insults that rise like bile. Between Koa’s rude question, Marik’s outburst, and now this, I think I’ve had enough of these princes tonight. It’s been a long, exhausting day of pretending to be someone I’m not, and now I have to defend myself against this prick?
I stand, eager to get away from him. Hot tears of anger prick my eyes, but I force them back.
“How unexpected,” he mutters sarcastically. I ignore him, storming down the hallway and back to the dining room.
Barrett’s eyes widen when he sees the expression on my face as I enter the dining room. I stand at the head of the table and place both hands on the surface of the table. August stops chewing and sets his fork down, worry in his eyes.
“Dinner is over. Have a great night,” I say gravely.
As I stalk from the dining room, the princes’ voices rise as they blame one another for the premature ending to the night.
I don’t care.
The moment I get back to my wing, I rip the crown from my head. Elle gawks at me as I throw it onto the couch.
“Get me out of this dress,” I demand.
Elle hurriedly steps toward me, unzipping the back of the dress in one swift motion. I step out of the dress, standing in the living room in my underwear, before walking to the bathroom and using my magic to turn on the shower.
Elle doesn’t say anything as she follows me to the bathroom and sits, watching me carefully as I remove my pearl earrings and set them on the marble countertop. I toss my underwear onto the floor, not caring that Elle is still in the room. I step into the shower, the hot water scalding me as I force deep breaths into my lungs. It only takes a few seconds of standing under the water for my thoughts to overwhelm me.
I can’t do this. I don’t want to do this. What the fuck am I doing? I’m nobody, and they’re allHigh Princes. Of course they don’t want to marry me, a nobody with zero experience in this world. I don’t belong here, and they all know it. I would only bring shame to their courts if I were to offer them a seat beside me. I’m about to turn the Deer Court into a fucking joke of a court, an imposter sitting on the throne. I’m a nobody. A nobody. Just a nobody.
Each thought comes in rapid fire, like swift punches right to the gut. Like someone is firing each thought directly at my mind.
A sob escapes me, and I collapse to the shower floor, curling myself into a ball. The cries come like a tidal wave, drowning me instantly. They wrack my body, and I want to crawl out of my skin. I don’t want to do this. I didn’t ask for this. The person who raised me betrayed me and didn’t think I was worthy of stepping into this role. Why should anyone else believe in me to rule an entire fucking kingdom? I’m an imposter. I stole the throne from my half-sister. She deserves to be here, not me. That’s who they all want to fight for. Not me.
I ball my fists and press them to my eyes, trying to quench the tears, but it doesn’t work. I try to pinch my skin, anything to stop feeling like this. It doesn’t work. I scratch my arms, still feeling like I want to crawl out of my skin, but it doesn’t work. I need to feel pain. Anything, anything to stop. I dig my fingernails into my shins, clawing at the skin. Not enough. Not enough. I hit my head against the shower floor over and over again. Anything to stop the thoughts from coming, anything to stop the screaming in my head.
I have to turn it off.
Chapter 14
Arms lift me.I’m freezing, on the edge of shivering. “She’s okay,” the voice says. I lean into the warm body holding me. All I can think about right now is being warm. The person holding me places me on something soft and rests my head on what feels like a pillow. A softness settles over me, covering me in the warmth of a blanket. I settle into the pillows and close my eyes, exhausted.
Sleep is a welcome reprieve.
The first thing I feel when I wake up is the heavy duvet caressing my bare skin, followed immediately by a dull pounding in my head. I crack my eyes open to find Elle and Cally sitting in the two oversized armchairs by my bedroom window. Light filters in through the window, landing on Cally’s wild hair. My gaze drifts to her face, only to find her staring silently at the bed. At me, now awake.
She hurriedly stands and comes to sit on the bed beside me. “Hey, you,” she says softly.
