“Not right now. That’s part of life—figuring it out.” He squeezes my hands and kisses my forehead. “I wish you could see what you bring to everyone’s life, how special you are.”
I start to shake my head, and he kisses me gently on the lips.
“You intimidate the hell out of your peers. You bring out the best and the worst in those around you. You possess strong magic. You don’t see who you are because in your mind you want to be like everyone else. But being different makes you who you are. It makes you better than a normal shifter. The world is full of normal shifters who half-ass their way through life. There’s nothing special about them. There is only one you—a girl whosurvived a cruel life, who survived death. You’re humble, shy, and sweet. You work harder than anyone I have ever met. You take a lot of crap and still come out on top. And you still love with your whole being, not just your heart.” He kisses me again.
I pull back. “Can’t you give me just one thing that I can use against you?” I mumble.
A deep, throaty laugh tumbles from his lips. He squeezes my hands again. “No. There is nothing you can say or do that will ever make me look at you differently.” He pulls me into his embrace. “I want to be more than your mate. I want to be your friend, your pillar, someone you rely on when you need it. I want to protect you, love you, grow with you—together.”
Chapter 46
You’re a Murderer
SHADOW
Seven Years Ago
We sit in silence until the dawn of a new day begins. She let me hold her. She doesn’t protest or push me away as I plant kisses on her head, her neck, her face. It is a good sign. We have time for us to build on our relationship.
She shifts her gaze to study me. I run my hand down her face, hating the man who gave her a black eye and a split lip. But I saw him and the other men in the bar when I tracked her down. They looked a hell of a lot worse than she does. I am so proud of her—she handled herself, just like I knew she could. I bury my face in her neck, missing her long hair.
I hate to take her back, break our moment together. But I need to.
“Is he gone?” she asks.
I hum into her neck. “No. He is me, and I am him,” I answer, hoping she understands.
She caresses my face. “I don’t think you’re a monster.” She smiles. “Thank you for showing me.” She rubs her thumb along my cheek.
I close my eyes, relishing her touch. I love her.
She turns, facing me completely, and kisses me. “Can you forgive me for being so selfish and only thinking of myself?”
“Were you only thinking of yourself?” Why does she punish herself for situations out of her control?
“I could blame Anders and the bylaws for pushing you away, for making excuses that I was doing the right thing for you?—”
“But…”
“The truth is, on top of all that, I was also protecting myself.” She looks down as her cheeks turn red. Her ice-blue eyes swim in unshed tears. “I know it’s only been a short time, but I’ve fallen in love with you. I thought about it, and I knew that you were going to say that it wouldn’t change things. I could see it on your face that day. If you change your mind, I don’t think my heart can take it if you reject me...”
My heart rate accelerates. This warm feeling spread from my chest to my entire body. I kiss her before she can say any more. We’ve been down this road, and there is no use reopening old wounds. “Say no more,” I tell her against her lips. “Let me worry about Anders and the bylaws. I already had a plan in place. Just tell me that you love me still, love me as I am.” I trail my nose along hers.
“I love you more,” she whispers.
That is all I need to hear.
We walk together in the hall. I adopt an irritated expression. I don’t really want to be here. I want to take her back to my place and make up for lost time. The closer we are to Anders’s office, the energy in the air crackles with tension.
Jessica pulls her cap low. Guilt is plastered all over her face.
I reach out to stop her. “Whatever we’re walking into, just know that I got you. Okay?”
She nods. I gently squeeze her arm, wishing I could kiss her instead. She squeezes my hand. We turn to find all the recruits lined up in the hall. Anders, Chris, and Elias speak to the town’s head guard. Ean stands near the twins. Odyssey and Skunk talk to two of the town guards. Jessica’s head snaps up, worry crossing her features.
I didn’t do it,she says, using her mind link.
A town guard sees us and immediately shouts, “Stop right there!” He raises his hand and reaches for his taser with the other.
