I shake my head and close our mind link.
“I want to show you something. This might help ease some of your guilt.” He stands from the couch with me still in his arms. Iwrap my legs around his waist. He pushes open a door and turns on a light before he sets me gently on my feet.
A desk sits in the center of the room still wrapped in plastic, and three chairs lean against one wall. He approaches several tall cabinets and opens one drawer, revealing a number of file folders. He sifts through, retrieves one, and sets it on the desk.
“You need to see this. I will warn you the contents in this file are not pretty, and the pictures...” He pauses. “It’s bad.”
I read the name on the file—Boris Niles. I force myself to swallow the lump in my throat. Do I really want to see this? How much do I really need to know about the man I killed? Shadow wraps his arms around me. “Princess, open it. I think you need to see what kind of a monster he was.” He kisses my hair and rests his chin on the top of my head. He doesn’t let me go until I finish reading the entire file.
Red-hot anger—no, rage—courses through my body. I wish I had known all of this before that bastard touched me. I would like to strike him with lightning again, this time with my eyes wide open.
He raped, tortured, and stalked countless girls and women until they felt like they were crazy. What kind of a monster gets to live a life without any remorse? He was an evil son of a bitch, and I felt horrible for taking his life. He felt nothing for the innocent lives he took.
Then, I remember the images I saw inside his head, all memories correlating with this file in my hand. There’s more. I know his secrets. I know what he did for the Resistance. I slam the file down on the desk and turn in Shadow’s arms.
“I want to be in the guard. I want to bring assholes like this down.”
Shadow smiles down at me. “I didn’t show you his file for you to become a vigilante. I showed you this because it was important for you to see that he didn’t deserve your guilt or yourremorse. You were his target, and he wouldn’t have stopped if you let him live. I should have killed him right then and there, but I didn’t want to do it in front of you. If I hadn’t hesitated, you wouldn’t have had to live with that on your conscience. I’m so sorry, Princess.”
I lean up on my tiptoes and kiss Shadow. The heaviness sitting on my chest all these months finally evaporates. I can finally breathe.
He palms my cheek and looks me in my eyes. “I will work with you on controlling your magic. Magic and our emotions go hand in hand. It’s why sometimes it works, and other times it doesn’t. We can fix that. I’ll help you, so you’ll never feel like this again.” He kisses the tip of my nose.
“Can I ask you something?”
“Anything, Princess. I have nothing to hide from you.”
“Why do you have this? Why was he in the guard if you knew this about him?”
“We tried to dismiss him, but his political backing prohibited us from removing him from the program, along with Marcus and Dustin. I have this file here because this is my personal home, and if we were ever searched, no one would find it on the training grounds. My reasons may seem paranoid, but I prefer to keep our research pertaining to all potential Resistance individuals where someone can’t find them. It’s also why I have a hard copy, instead of a digital file on a computer. I admit I wasn’t the one who discovered this information. Had I seen these particular reports, I would have used my own political resources to prevent him from entering into the program. This unfortunately came into our hands a couple of months into the program, thanks to Luke, who followed his intuition about the guy, and Darwin’s knowledge of hacking into the right systems.”
I snort at the mention of Luke’s intuition.
He angles his head. “What?”
I shake my head, not wanting to talk poorly about Luke to him. My opinion of the asshat is my own. “I just can’t believe that someone managed to hide all of this information.”
“He has a powerful ally in his corner. From what I can tell, killing these women was part of his job, his training. He was raised to be an assassin.”
“Are assassins trained to rape their targets?"
“No. That, I think, was just part of who he was. He turned it into a game. For whatever reason, before he even knew you wielded magic, he chose you for sport.”
He steps back, and I instantly miss the warmth of his embrace.
“Princess, I know you felt like his death was because you lost control of your magic, but deep down, your instincts saved you. They saved me, too. I would be dead right now if you hadn’t saved me. I’m not invincible. So, think of all the potential lives you saved and stop wasting time feeling guilty for taking the life of a man who was nothing more than a monster.”
Chapter 28
Who The Hell Is Terrell Beck?
JESSICA
Seven Years Ago
Steam from the shower follows me out of my bathroom. Shadow said he would return in one hour to start my interview.
Sixes stands in my room, eyes wide. “Don’t tell me you were with Terrell Beck.”Who the hell is Terrell Beck? Why would I be with him?“Jessica! He’s a notorious player. Everyone in the territory knows that. He’s worse than Charlie!” she exclaims, throwing her hands in the air. “Don’t look at me like that.”
