He pulls me against him. “Fuck. I can feel your heat against my cock,” he moans. I feel his hardness between my legs, against my sex. He lifts his hips against me, and I moan in return. I shift my hips back and forth, rubbing against him, loving the feel of his hardness.
He lets out a shaky breath. “I need to stop, Princess.”
I trail my tongue along his neck, pulling his skin with my teeth as I venture lower. I continue to suck on his skin, grinding into him at the same time. He groans a little louder this time. I want more. I start to chase the pleasure of rubbing his hardened cock against me. I grab the back of his couch, pulling myselfagainst him. I run my fingers through his hair and return to his mouth.
“Fuck! Don’t stop, Princess.” He grips both of my hips to grind against him even harder. My head falls back as he drags my sports bra out of the way, exposing one of my breasts. He teases my nipple with his tongue and pulls it into his mouth, sucking harder.
I lose control, canting my hips faster. I need more. I want more.
Reading my mind, he works my nipple harder, alternating between pleasure and a little pain. Every muscle in my body starts to tremble, and my pussy throbs. When he clamps down on my nipple, ecstasy fills every fiber of my being. I grip his shoulders, digging my nails into his skin.
He grips the back of my head, tangling his fingers in my hair, and he crashes his lips against mine, releasing a low throaty growl at the same time. I feel his canines elongate, cutting into my lower lip, but the pain only heightens the pleasure. He releases my mouth, burying his head in the crook of my neck, holding me down on his throbbing erection.
“Holy fuck,” he murmurs between tender kisses along my collarbone. He leans back against the couch, taking me with him, cradling my head against his shoulder.
A warm, relaxing sensation overwhelms my body. His arms wrap around me as we both catch our breaths. He kisses my forehead, and his thumb gently caresses the back of my shoulder.
“Princess, are you okay? Was it too much? Did I take it too far? Fuck, I didn’t even ask if touching you was okay. I didn’t check in with you.”
I kiss his bare chest and snuggle closer, resting my forehead into the crook of his neck. “I wanted more. I didn’t want you to stop,” I admit.
He laughs, sliding his hand from my shoulder to my hip. His thumb brushes against my scars there. They don’t appear to bother him.
I know that we should probably leave, but I want to bathe in this calm feeling and stay in his arms forever. “Just five more minutes,” I whisper. “I want to stay in your arms for five more minutes.”
His lips graze my forehead, his arms squeezing me tighter. “Anything you want, Princess.”
My eyelids grow heavy. I breathe in sea salt, faint ozone and cold night air clinging to his skin. My body melts against his, and I fall asleep with his arms locked around me like a promise.
What feels like seconds later, I hear him say, “Princess, I let you sleep for as long as I could, but I have to get you home.”
I nod, not really wanting this to end.
He groans, letting his head fall back against the couch. “I still need to do your interview, and I don’t know how I’m going to keep my hands off of you.”
I lift my head up to look at him, blinking the sleep from my eyes. “Did you say interview?”
He smiles and starts to play with my hair. “I’m scheduled to do your entrance interview today. Actually, I was coming to see you on your birthday to do it then, but my plans were… diverted.”
I thought it was too late to enter the recruit program. I saw the roster on Anders’s desk; it's almost filled. I stopped asking to be in the guard for a long time now. After the whole incident with Boris, I felt I didn’t deserve to be one, nor did I want to anymore.
Shadow’s blue eyes twinkle with excitement. I don’t want to let him down or confess where my mind drifted for the past six months.
“Oh,” I manage and attempt to smile, despite my hesitation.
His warm hand slides up my back and caresses my neck before resting my forehead to his. “Tell me why you feel like you don’t deserve this.”
“I never said that.”
“You didn’t have to. I see it written all over your face.”
He should know why. He was there. He saw what I did and yet not once brought it up. I show him with my mind—memories of Boris’s hands touching me, hitting me. I relive the feel of his teeth sinking into my skin, his whispered threats, and the lightning I tried to wield and failed and the bolt of lightning I sent straight through his heart. His lifeless body lying on the ground.
My magic worked that night, and then it didn’t. That bolt of lightning wasn’t meant to kill him. I wanted only to scare him, just like I had when I first met Luke. Since that night, so many thoughts run through my head.
What if I kill someone else—someone innocent—by accident? I could have killed Luke. What if I hadn’t missed? Off and on for the past six months, every time I tried to wield my magic, it works too well or doesn’t work at all. I can’t control it, and I am so scared. I don’t know who to talk to about it. If I talk to Anders, I would have to tell him what I did. Would he get rid of me?
Shadow slowly reaches for my wrists and pulls my hands away from my neck. “Breathe, Princess.” I didn’t realize I was clutching at my throat. “Princess, fuck, I’m so sorry. I’m so fucking broken that I didn’t stop to think what you were going through. I had no idea.” He squeezes his eyes shut. His arms wrap around me again, pulling me in closer. “I fucked up. I should have been there with you, for you. I should have talked to you about it.”
