CRISTY: ‘Does Maeve know what really happened to the twins?’
MEIER: ‘If she does, she has never spoken about it to me.’
Mindful of how reticent Maeve had been all along, Cristy wondered if she might actually believe in her daughter’s guilt, but never wanted to admit it, even to herself. There was so much to delve into here, so many emotions to explore, not least of all her own as her heart ached for all concerned.
CRISTY: ‘You told us before that you didn’t know Nicole was going to confess at her most recent parole hearing.’
MEIER: ‘I didn’t. In fact, when I saw her, a week or so before, she told me she never wanted to be free, thatshe had to stay locked away so she’d never have to face a world with so much shame and darkness in her heart. Apparently, she changed her mind after I left, but as I told you just now, it’s not unusual for her to do so. We – she and I – have had many discussions over the years about what she does and doesn’t believe. The only constant, if you can call it that, is her fear of what it would mean for me if people started to believe that it really had been an accident. If anyone knew that I had helped cover it up.
‘I have told her that I am prepared to accept the consequences. In fact, I have offered many times to go to the police, but she wants us to be together again, and now, after all this time, she believes it is possible – or she did until she was recently returned to prison.
‘When I saw her on Saturday, I told her I would be talking to you and so she must prepare herself for what will come next. My hope is that she will not have to serve very much longer if I, perhaps with your help, can convince the authorities that the twins’ death was not murder. She has suffered too much already for a crime she didn’t commit.’
Instead of asking what he expected to happen to Nicole if she was released and he was imprisoned – she’d come back to it – Cristy pushed on to the next outstanding issue.
CRISTY: ‘Where does Lauren fit in to everything?’
At that he exhaled loudly, as if releasing some of the tension that had built over the last few minutes.
MEIER: ‘Lauren struggled terribly after the loss of the twins and by the time Nicole’s trial began she was in a very bad place, mentally. It was a lot for her to copewith. She didn’t know what had really happened. Even after Nicole’s conviction she continued to believe that someone had abducted them, so she was certain they must be out there somewhere … She kept begging me to help her to find them, so I did, on occasions, which was cruel – I accept that – but I didn’t know what else to do.
‘In the end, she began coming to Lausanne and waiting for me outside the university. I always tried to be kind to her, but she would occasionally cause scenes, accusing me of hiding the twins, of deceiving everyone. I could see how lonely and confused she was, how lost she felt without Nicole, and how much she needed me to care. So, because I couldn’t think what else to do, I brought her here, to my grandmother.
‘I couldn’t have known then, but it turned out that working on the farm, being a part of a life that felt like a whole world away from the one she’d left, was good for her. She stayed, right up until my grandmother’s death, and after, when I came to take the place over, she continued to make it her home.
‘I didn’t realize until recently that she’d more or less stopped contacting her family … I wasn’t at the farm for long spells during her early years here, so I didn’t have a clear idea of what she was doing. I wasn’t even aware that my grandmother had told her about the twins, had even brought her to the grave, until long after my grandmother had gone and Bryn Helyg was up and running in the way it is now.
‘To make a very long story, very short, when Ben arrived from the US, he and Lauren fell for one another, and after Lauren realized she was pregnant a decision was taken quite quickly for her to go with him when he left.
‘I think, as the years have gone on, she’s found itincreasingly difficult to keep things to herself, and that’s why she still doesn’t see her family. She doesn’t want to lie to them by pretending the twins might still be alive when she knows they aren’t. She will be able to see her mother after this, so to quote Nicole, there is “one good outcome”. ’
CRISTY: ‘When did Nicole say that?’
MEIER: ‘Last weekend, when I told her that I was going to meet with you in the hope that you would tell our story with more … compassion than judgement. I understand that I deserve to be judged harshly, but I hope you will agree that she does not. It wouldn’t be right for her to serve any more of her sentence when she has already confessed. We have let it go on for too long. It is time now for her to regain her freedom and for me to pay for my part in what we did to our children.’
As he stopped speaking, he was looking past them in a way that made Cristy turn to see what had caught his attention. Maggi and a man Cristy didn’t recognize were standing at the church gate.
MEIER: ‘Jonathan Grant is the lawyer I have asked to come with me to the police. He will represent me going forward, but obviously I will be pleading guilty to whatever crimes I am charged with, so there won’t be a lengthy trial, and hopefully all the public condemnation will be reserved for me. No more thrown at Nicole.’
He rose to his feet and held out a hand to shake.
MEIER: ‘Thank you for coming here today, and for listening.’
As he walked away, clearly shattered inside, Cristy was aware of such a wrenching sadness and confusion in her heart that she simply couldn’t speak.
‘Are you OK?’ Connor asked quietly, putting a comforting hand on her shoulder.
She turned to him and saw from his anguished eyes how deeply this confession had affected him too.
CHAPTER FORTY-THREE
‘Wow,’ Connor murmured quietly as they began driving in convoy along the winding lane, the Defender in front, the BMW that had come to collect Meier next, and them bringing up the rear. ‘That’s some exclusive we have on our hands. So why aren’t I feeling good about it?’
Cristy was equally sobered by the past hour, especially the last few minutes before Meier joined his lawyer in the car. She said, ‘I guess nothing good was ever going to come out of two children disappearing the way they did. Much as I wanted to believe it would,’ she added, wondering how Meier was feeling now, leaving behind his children’s and grandparents’ grave and knowing it would soon be dug up by strangers to verify that the twins were actually there.
After a while, asserting her inner journalist – the practical, conscientious woman who needed to act on all they’d just learned – Cristy checked the time and said, ‘There are still a couple of hours to go before tonight’s upload, so we should send something over now. Not the interview, obviously, but the fact that we know the twins are dead.’
By the time she was ready to record, they were passing the farmhouse. The Defender turned in, the BMW kept going, and she realized they’d probably be following it most of the way to Bristol.
