She needed to listen …
MEIER: ‘My name is Jean-Claude Meier; most people call me Claude. I am Swiss by birth, and I am the proprietor of the farm where we are recording this.’
MAGGI: ‘I am Magda Thomas – I prefer to be called Maggi with an i, not a y – and I expect you can tell by my accent that I’m Welsh. I live and work here at the farm. I guess you could say I’m a kind of housekeeper-cum-manager-cum-slave to my all-powerful-lord-and-master, Jean-Claude Meier.’
As Meier gave a laugh of surprise, Cristy caught Maggi’s playful wink and was intrigued to know what the actual dynamic was here. Were they a couple, as in bedmates and valentine dates? Or just friends and colleagues who knew one another well enough to rib and tease with an undertone of flirtation that didn’t actually mean anything? And the joke itself – what were they meant to think of that? Maggi was clearly teasing them for suspecting this to be a cult, but maybe it was a deflection tactic. Whatever, Cristy needed to keep her mind and eyes open.
CONNOR: ‘OK, all good thanks. So, do you want to take it from here, Cris? Happy to if you … ?’
Indicating she was ready, she addressed Meier first.
CRISTY: ‘Maybe we can go straight to the heart of why we’re talking to you today. Your relationship with Nicole Ivorson dates back over twenty years, continuing up to the present day. So will you begin by telling us something about it?’
MEIER: ‘Yes, of course. I am willing to share all that I can … But you understand there are certain things I do not know – and one of them, I’m afraid, is what happened to the twins. This, I am sure, is the main purpose of your visit.’
CRISTY: ‘But you knew Nicole at the time they disappeared?’
MEIER: ‘I did. Very well.’
CRISTY: ‘Are you the twins’ father?’
If she’d hoped to wrongfoot him with the directness of the question, then his outward appearance told her she hadn’t succeeded. He simply moved past it.
MEIER: ‘Maybe first I should tell you about Nicole, and what a difference she made to my life. How connected I felt to her right from the start. I still do.’
He paused, and realizing he was waiting for permission to go further, Cristy gestured for him to continue.
MEIER: ‘Actually, it’s hard to put the depth of my feelings into words, but I am going to try …
‘The first time I saw her, she quite literally took my breath away. It wasn’t just her face – it was exquisite, of course; anyone could see that – it was the beauty that radiated from within her. We can call it an aura, if you like – a special and profound allure that drew me to her in such a powerful way that I knew from those first moments of seeing her that I always had, and always would, feel connected to her.’
He sat with the resonance of his words, his eyes unfocused and yet thoughtful, as though the strength and nature of that connection still intrigued and baffled him.
MEIER: ‘Imagine this, if you can …’
He smiled, as though his thoughts were manifesting right in front of him.
MEIER: ‘She came to me like an exotic dancer trying to bewitch me with her very sultry moves. I remember the comedy of it clearly, and how it made me laugh. I also remember feeling unsure of how close I wanted to be to her. The attraction was very strong right away and …déstabilisant?’
CRISTY: ‘Unnerving?’
He nodded.
MEIER: ‘I could tell she wasn’t affected by it then – everything came later for her. She says that isn’t true, that it was instant for her too, but I believe I am right. That night, she was simply feeling risqué – she was always risqué – I think she was also a little drunk. I wanted to turn away, but she was so fascinating to watch, so bold and carefree, enchanting without seeming to know it. I wanted her to understand how perfect she was …
‘She was, and still is, like music for me – loud and passionate; gentle and romantic; complex and simplistic. She has suffered a great deal over these past years, and yet she continues to be a woman of intriguing contrasts – extrovert and shy; straightforward and unpredictable; self-contained and longing for love.
‘The connection between us that began that night has never failed – at least not for me.’
He considered this for a moment, seemed satisfied he’d articulated it well, and continued.
MEIER: ‘I fought it, though. It scared me; I wasn’t ready for it … I told myself I was still traumatized by the shock of my parents’ death … It had happened many years before but had affected me profoundly. Grief can make a person unstable, vulnerable, perhaps delusional, and the way they died … I suspect you already know about it. I’m sure you will have done your research before coming …’
As his eyes came to hers, Cristy felt a tightening in her heart, as if she’d intruded on something so private to him that she ought to apologize before going any further. She didn’t, simply waited for him to continue.
MEIER: ‘I had made many friends at the university in Bristol before I met Nicole. Some were students from overseas, others visiting lecturers like myself … She believes I was alone that night, but others were there, just not standing with me when she came to persuade me to dance. I wonder if she would have asked if I hadn’t been alone? If not, we might never have met. It is painful to think that now, and yet perhaps it would have been better for her if we hadn’t.’
Cristy watched him mull those words and got the feeling it hurt him even to think them. And yet why would it have been better for Nicole if she’d never met him? Did that mean he was hiding something? Or was it simply an obvious statement of fact given where Nicole was now? If their paths had never crossed it was unlikely she’d have been a mother at such a young age, and so yes, her life would have taken a very different turn.
