Ending the call, I blow out a breath.
I feel more off than I have in a long time. This is exactly what I don’t need right now. To be in a weird place with Logan the day before I leave for another competition.
Is it too much to ask that I get the best of both worlds? Who knew being in a relationship would be this fucking hard?
ChapterTwenty-Six
LOGAN
It’s weird being here. Back in Denver in my condo. With Audrey having left yesterday, I’m all on my own.
And since she left, I’ve been ignoring my phone. The team doctor has been calling for the last two days. I keep telling myself that if I don’t answer, my future isn’t in jeopardy.
Stepping out onto the balcony, I take a deep breath of the cold air. I bought this place from Jackson after he moved in with Tenley. I haven’t been able to give it up yet. It’s been the one thing connecting me to this life. Being home in Dixon and training hasn’t felt real.
And now? Now I don’t know if my future will be here.
I still haven’t said the words out loud to myself. If I don’t, it won’t be real.
Clouds are moving in from the mountains. The weather has matched my mood these last few days. I thought about checking in with my old teammates, but decided that wouldn’t help cheer me up. I love the guys, but I think being around them right now, while my future with the team is up in the air, would do more harm than good.
And now with Audrey gone? I’m left with only the swirling thoughts of what that future holds.
The door to the condo opens behind me. What the hell?
“Logan? You here?”
“Gramps?” I walk into the living room, closing out the cold air that’s been moving in. “What are you doing here?”
“Got a call from the team. They haven’t been able to get ahold of you. What’s going on?”
Shit. Of course they called him.
“I’m sorry, Gramps.”
He sits on the couch, old bones creaking. “Don’t be sorry. Tell me what’s going on.”
“I’m done. No more football for me.”
It’s the first time I’ve said it out loud. I haven’t wanted to say it. I don’t want it to be true. Football has been everything for me as long as I can remember. From peewee to high school to college, I’ve lived and breathed football.
Even for this last year, the end goal was to rejoin the team.
And now?
Now, for the first time in my life I feel lost.
I don’t need a call from the team to confirm what I already know.
His stern eye meets mine. “How do you know?”
“Based on everyone’s reactions the other day, I don’t have the speed. The leg strength just isn’t there.”
It’s the one thing I’ve been working toward this last year. Surgery after surgery. Over a year of rehab. All of it feels wasted.
Because my fucking leg isn’t as strong as it should be.
“I feel like I failed.”
