“Says who?” Gramps crosses his arms, pinning me with a look that used to send me running.
“A gut feeling. I know that’s what they will say. I won’t suit up ever again.”
“That doesn’t mean you failed. You were given the worst hand that someone’s ever had to deal with. You’re here, Logan. To me, that’s not failure.”
I scrub a hand down my face, my emotions starting to get the best of me.
“What am I supposed to do?” I whisper. It’s the thought that’s been plaguing me since I left the facility.
“Logan, look at me.” Gramps’s voice is strong.
I finally look into his piercing blue eyes. Growing up, even with our eyes a different color, I was always told that I was the spitting image of him. That I was most like him. He was the one that was always at my football games. Even in college and the NFL, he always came to the home opener.
Gramps was the person I never wanted to let down. So to be talking with him now about the end of my career, it feels like I’m failing. Failing him.
“How long does a football player’s career last?” His gray brows furrow as he looks at me.
I blow out a breath. “I don’t know, maybe five years? Depends on the position.”
He nods. “For running backs, it’s about two and a half years. You were in the league for eight. You won a Super Bowl. How many people can say that?”
“Right, but—”
“Football was always going to end. It was never going to be something you did until you were forty.”
“I guess not.”
“Logan.” Gramps beckons me over to sit next to him. “Your end might not have been on your terms, but you got more out of your career than most. And you’re still here.”
His voice is rough. It’s not something we talk about much. It was a hard time, not only for me, but my entire family.
“You are not a football player.”
“Not anymore.”
Gramps claps me on the shoulder, grabbing my attention.
“No. Your worth has never been tied to you playing football. Did you make us proud? Yes, you did. Football was always secondary. But I was more proud of the man you became. No matter what you were going through, you were always there for your family. You’re the best son, brother, grandson, and I couldn’t be more proud of you.”
Tears blur my vision.
“You’ve had a hell of a career, son. And you should be very proud of that. But you have a lot more to be proud of than just football.”
He pulls me in for a hug. Having him here means more than I can ever admit. So much of my life has been tied up in football, that I didn’t know what I would do without it.
Even though I won’t be playing, Gramps being here, supporting me, makes the road ahead that much easier. Less scary.
“Thanks, Gramps,” I mumble into his shoulder. “I love you.”
“I love you too, Logan. Now, why don’t we go get the official word from the team? No sense in delaying it any longer.”
“I guess not.”
Time to face the music.
* * *
The team facilityis just like it was when I was here earlier this week. I know there’s a practice today because of Sunday’s game. It’s weird being here and knowing I won’t be suiting up again.
