“I don’t remember.”
His lips pressed together in a thin line. Why was he angry? Again, I hated that he thought I was lying. “It’s the truth. In my small world, I didn’t know day from night. After Mama went away...” my voice caught in my throat, hating that I had no memory of how she left me.
Xavier spoke again, his words were quieter. “Where did your mama go?”
Slowly, I shook my head. “I don’t know...” my words broke again. “He said if I were his perfect kitten, she would return.” I trembled at what he’d made me do. “She never did.” I pulled my knees up to my chest, seeking comfort in the blanket around me.
Once more, he saw my anxiety. “You’re safe.” Xavier smiled. “What was the name of the man who kept you?”
“Master.”
He stared at me, breathing harder. “Did he have another name?”
I shook my head before remembering what Zarina called him. “Kabir.”
Xavier rubbed his jaw lightly. “How long did he keep you locked up?”
I lowered my eyes and fidgeted with the ribbon. “Besides Mama, Master, and Luke, I knew no one else. Then I met Zarina, Master’s sister, for the first time when she took me to Blackhall Mansion...” I trailed off, not wanting him to know what Master had done to me. All those nasty people he brought to the red room. All the horrible things they made me do. And what Zarina wanted to do. I shivered, suddenly cold with memories.
Xavier reached out and placed a hand over my twitching fingertips. Immediately warmth circulated over them. “It’s okay.” He picked up my hand to lay on his chest.
The second I felt his steady heartbeat beneath my fingertips, my eyes shut, and those magic colors of peace once again brought calm to my body.
“Open your eyes,” he ordered in a tone I immediately obeyed, forcing my gaze not to stray from his intense one. “You don’t have to tell me anything now, but I want to hear everything when you’re ready. Understood?” He released my hand.
“Yes, Master,” the words slipped out easily.
His head jerked back, his exhale harsh before his fingers found my chin again. Even without a smile, his beautiful face still held me prisoner. This time by choice. “I’m your savior, love, not your master. The pain I unleash on a woman is the one she willingly craves. Never with fear, always with pleasure.”
My eyes widened, panic drifting down my spine. How was he so gentle with me yet spoke of such things? “You hurt women too?”
As if he’d read my confusion, he smiled. “One day, you will learn that not all pain hurts. That the dark isn’t just a place for monsters. That a whip can make you crave its dominance over your body.”
I shuddered at that thought. The whip was an enemy I’d never forget. Still, I said, “I don’t understand.”
“You will. Only when you’re ready to accept the light I offer. You’re free now. Free to make decisions, to choose, to visit whoever you want, to go where you want to.”
Free!
Silent fingers of surprise grabbed onto that word. Not believing it. Not knowing what it meant for me. I didn’t dare hope because that word had never existed for me.
Staring at the ribbon, I swallowed the emotion, thickening my throat. “I have no one.”
“You have me.”
My eyes flew up to his face, searching for sincerity behind his words. It was there in big, bold letters, promising the happiness I’d dreamed of. Men had always taken from me without asking, and now meeting a man who gave so freely of his time, his patience, asking nothing in return, left me confused.
With his hands resting on the mattress, he leaned down, bringing his face close to mine. “I’m here for as long as you need me.” Once more, I didn’t flinch at his nearness. I welcomed its calming effect on me. “For however long it takes for you to let go and not be afraid of your shadow.”
My gaze on him, I fidgeted with my ribbon again. “What if that never happens?”
This wasn’t a man. No. He was the angel Mama talked about. Sent to do God’s work in a world where sinners ruled, and innocents died before they were born. I didn’t know him, but I didn’t want to leave him.
His soft laugh tickled my ears. I shivered. This time, not from fear but from some feeling I didn’t understand.
“I’m not a man you can have forever. I arrived in your life suddenly, and before you know it, I will pass through it. I won’t be the man you marry, have babies with, and live happily ever after. But I will be your guide. The one who will show you how much you can be loved, the one to show you that not everyone will hurt you. The one to teach you that no one can break you unless you allow them to. I’m merely a phase. Here to teach you to live freely. And I’ll stay as long as you need me, holding your hand if that’s what it takes for you to breathe without fear until you’re ready to accept the next phase. For that one word you’d silently wished for but dared not hope for out loud.” He ran a gentle finger down my cheek. “Freedom.”
Again, I didn’t know him yet by his words alone, it was like I’d known him all my life—the invisible prince I’d hoped would save me.
