And he did.
How would I repay him? I had to give him something in return for his kindness. I stared at the pink ribbon around my wrist. My head told me to give it to him, my heart begged me not to. I looked up to find him watching me. Slowly, I unwrapped the ribbon. The only thing of value I possessed. “Thank you.” Laying the piece of satin in the space between us, I looked at him.
Little lines creased his forehead. “What’s that for?”
“Your kindness. For saving me. For bringing me to your home. For those scars, I left on your hands.” Embarrassed, I blushed, hoping he wouldn’t take it. “It’s all I have.”
He picked up the ribbon, looked at it, then reached out. Strangely, I didn’t pull back when he took my hand in his, and with his eyes locked on mine, he retied the ribbon around my wrist. Done, he held my hand in his. “The strongest willpower has the most scars, don’t regret them because they tell others you survived whatever tried to hurt you.”
His words took me back to the moment I broke the mirrors. Would I ever survive that scar?
As if he could read my mind, he touched my chin. “You won’t see it again,” he repeated his words when he’d carried me into the bathroom. I nodded, trusting him. “Do you want to repay me?” he asked.
“Yes.”
“Then I’ll consider your debt paid the day you smile.”
Wide-eyed, I stared at him, my body humming with an odd feeling I didn’t understand. Unsure how to reply, I remained silent.
He inched closer until we were sharing the same breath of air. “It’s easy to smile when you’re cheerful.” He touched my cheek softly. “And I will work every day to ensure you are, ensure you inhale happiness and exhale laughter, ensure you close your eyes to moon-kissed dreams and open them to sun-drenched joy. It will be baby steps for you now, so we take it slow.”
Again, that sudden sting behind my eyes surprised me.
“I brought you another shirt.” He picked up a pale blue shirt at the bottom of the bed. “While that gown is cozy, I think you’ll sleep better in this.”
I took it from his outstretched hand. “Thank you.”
“And this.” He held up something black.
“What’s that?”
“Knickers.”
“Do I have to wear them?”
He smiled. “Why would you not want to?” When I didn’t immediately answer, he asked, “What clothing did you wear in that room?”
“Master called them tunics. He gave me seven black ones and only changed them as I got older or if he destroyed them. I was only allowed knickers when he played dress-up with me. I wasn’t...” My skin flushed with embarrassment, not wanting to talk about that room and all the sick things I had to do. I liked it here and wanted to forget that room.
“Remember what I said, Cinder. I want to know everything,” Xavier’s stern voice broke through my memories.
I nodded. “I wasn’t allowed to wear any clothing when he had guests.”
He inhaled sharply. “What about shoes?”
“No shoes. The first time I wore them was at Blackhall. I couldn’t walk in them.”
Even though he tried to hide it, I heard his soft curse. “I’ll leave this here. You can decide if you want to wear them?” He left it at the bottom of the bed.
“Sleep now, love. I’ll see you in the morning.” He stood, and I suddenly didn’t want him to leave. As if he read my distress, he smiled. “I’m just across the landing if you need me. Okay? I’ll hear you call.”
I nodded, sliding down into the softness I still couldn’t believe was possible for a bed. As he walked out, he switched off the light, startling me into sitting up. “Leave it on, please,” I called out. Even though light poured in from outside, I still feared the darkness.
Instead of doing as I asked, Xavier walked back to my side. A second later, a softer glow filled the darkened space. “This is a bedside lamp you can keep on all night. It’s not as bright and won’t disturb your sleep.”
He pointed to the large dark brown thing on the bedside table that I thought was a tree without leaves. Then he pressed the switch off and on to show me how it worked. Curious, I did it myself. Elation must’ve shown on my face because he chuckled, lifting my eyes to his. I liked that sound. It made me feel warm on the inside.
“I’m going to enjoy teaching you the simple things.” He kissed my brow. “Sweet dreams.”
