“Not yet. Come for me, Blue. Now,” he coaxed.
I let go and he guided me, pushing me toward that edge I yearned for. His tongue flicked and cajoled while his fingers directed. He gave me everything I needed and wanted, holding nothing back. The orgasm breached every nerve fiber, every fine body hair, and every gasping breath. I shuddered hard and just as a scream ripped from my mouth, Shay covered it with a hand.
I wanted to laugh, cry, run, jump. No one told me an orgasm could be this consuming, this intense that I thought I’d dropped over a chasm for a moment.
My body a shaking mess, I watched Shay remove his clothing and climb up onto the altar, hovering above me. I raked a slow gaze over his toned body. Wild hunger surged through me, my world spinning out of control. I was about to have sex with Shay. I smiled and he leaned down to kiss me, his lips an excruciating leisure I sighed into. I parted my legs and he slipped between them. He broke the kiss and held my gaze, the sensuality in there frightened me, not in a scary way but with the knowledge he could never be mine.
Resting on his forearms, he braced himself on either side of my head and I felt the tip of his hard on rubbing against my pussy. Without thought, I lifted my hips, needing him. His eyes locked with mine, he began inching his cock inside me, and his breathing turned shallow. I knew he was restraining himself. Grasping my hip with one hand, he pushed in further. Shocked by the unfamiliar intrusion, my body tightened, I inhaled sharply and shut my eyes tight.
He stilled, and my eyes flew open. “Fuck,” his head snapped back, his metallic eyes flaming with lust and something I couldn’t read. “What have I done?” His fingers dug into my hip, his words not matching the indecision to let go, in his gaze. “You’re still a virgin?” he hissed on a ragged breath.
“Finish it, Shay,” I growled, determination not to give him a choice, tightening my jaw. If this was the last thing we did before he became another woman’s man, then I intended to get my full share. As sick as that sounded, I didn’t care. “Please.”
He uttered another soft groan and slid in further. I tensed. Deeper. My eyes shut against the pain. And deeper still. I sucked in a breath. Every muscle contracted in unconscious anxiety.
“Relax, baby,” his words a warm caress, guided me into calm and I relaxed my muscles. Gradually, the pain morphed into a slow-burning pleasure. I opened my eyes to find his tender gaze on me. “You okay?” I nodded, too afraid to speak, knowing I’d give into tears if I did. He pulled out and slid back in.
That first thrust wrenched a surprised groan from me. “Oh, God,” I gasped.
“Jesus, fuck.” His breathing a hoarse pant against the crook of my neck before he lifted his head to look at me. “Tell me you’re okay with this, Blue. That you’re okay this can’t go any further than that door you’ve come through. That I won’t be able to give you any more than this. That you’ll be okay with watching me marry Ryleigh.” He rubbed his nose against mine. “Because I’m not fucking sure I am,” he whispered the last part and my heart spasmed beneath my chest, hope blossoming on an exhale until his next words. “But I have to because no one can know about this.” The tears I battled to hold back spilled down the sides of my temple. “Fuck, baby, you’re crying, and I can’t watch you cry. Maybe this isn’t such a good—”
I gripped his shoulders, my nails digging into hard skin. “I’m okay. I won’t ask for more. I’m okay with watching you marry Ryleigh, I promise.”
He blew out a harsh breath, one I felt against my chest. “Blue, I’m a soldier, I’ve experienced shit I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. I survived a bullet an inch from my heart, and I can survive another, but what you’re asking of me today, I’m not sure, baby.” He drew in another deep inhale. “I don’t think I can survive watching you hurt, allowing you to go on living in the desolation that binds my heart from this day, watching you cry from the pain I caused. I won’t survive.”
Slowly, I shook my head, letting my eyes speak the ache my lips couldn’t, then I dragged a gentle hand through his thick hair. “I’ll give anything and everything to have this moment with you, please don’t take it away from me.”
I lifted my head, letting my lips seal the vow, and knowing I’d rather die than watch him make another woman his. For now, I pushed the thought to the back of my mind. Whatever happened between us, I wanted to make the most of it, I wanted to enjoy every lasting second of it.
My tongue brushed lightly over his lips, and he moaned low and deep before his mouth covered mine, his desperation tangible in the way his body pressed into mine.
He pushed in, slower this time, inch by delicious inch, until he was buried deep, drawing a gasp. “You’re so perfect,” he murmured, dropping soft kisses to my eyes, my brow, my cheeks before he began rocking into me. Claiming my lips, he slipped his hands into mine on either side of my head, linked our fingers and tightened his grip.
“This is not how I imagined our first time together, Blue.” He teased my lips, his cock sliding in and out of me in a slow grind, burning me from the inside out. “I wanted to make love to you. Hard and fast, slow and sensual, all night long. I wanted to kiss you until you were breathless for more. I wanted to worship your body like it deserves to be. I wanted you crying out my name over and over but not like this, baby.” He dragged his lips over mine.
And the tears fell again, running down my temples and Shay kissed them. His movements gentle, even thrusts, our bodies danced a slow flawless harmony, I knew I’d never find again, ever. Every manly inch of him filled me with a serene tenderness. He took my breath and my body and everything I willingly offered, finally claiming my heart too.
God, I love him so much.
With that acknowledgement, I untangled my fingers from his and clung desperately to him as his thrusts lengthened.
He gripped my hips tight. “I’m close. Come with me,” he breathed.
Knowing we were coming to an end, I wrapped my arms around his neck, not wanting to let go, trying to hold to on what little time I had left with him. My tears a witness to my pain, I gave myself into the building orgasm. His thrusts intensified before he stilled, and I felt the spill of his hot cum deep inside my pussy at the same time I surrendered to a mind-blowing climax. Loving and hating it because it signaled an end, I wasn’t ready for, would never be ready for, not in a thousand years.
His breaths harsh pants, Shay looked down at me, his eyes pleading for forgiveness. Silently, I nodded, accepting there’d be no cuddles and kisses or forever. Sliding off me, he picked up our clothes and just as I was about to get off, he shook his head, scooped me in his arms and carried me back to the bathroom. There, he took a warm cloth and washed me down. Through it all, I cried, keeping my fingers clenched at my side because I knew if I touched him, I would want more. Then he kissed me, long, hard and slow, begging me to go forward and forget.
If only rewind existed in life...
