“Then, don’t let it.”
I stared at my sister, knowing she meant well, but she was right. If I pushed Sianna or Rayden, I could lose them forever.
Sianna
THREE WEEKS AFTER CHRISTMASEve...
“I can never love you. Not now. Not ever.” My last words to Drake droned on repeat in my head. Even as Trent’s car drove away, it took an effort not to look back, my vision blinded by tears I couldn’t stop then or now.
Three weeks after that mess I left behind, and after I’d finally succumbed to a much needed fifteen-hour sleep, I sat on the windowsill and turned my head as Ruvash entered my room.
His smile, the comfort I’d sought every day since I shattered the hearts of two men I’d never forget. “Hey, you okay?”
I stared at the cold coffee in the mug nestled between my bent knees and slowly shook my head. “No.” Pain ricocheted through my body, hitting my heart on its way to my head. I dropped my face into my cupped hands and sobbed for the love I’d lost.
“Sia.” He pulled me into a hug, caressing my hair and whispering sweet nothings. Only when my chest emptied to nothing but dry heaves did I sit back. “You need time, sweetie,” his calm words always the welcome assurance in my life.
“How much.” My voice cracked. Tears blurred my vision. I took a sip of my coffee to clear the emotion from my throat. I wrinkle my nose without thought, swallowing down the bitter liquid.
“You want to talk?”
“No.” Exhaustion claimed my body, leaving me listless and uninterested in anything but the constant reproach in my head. I was grateful Trent had given me time off to sort out the chaotic turmoil that my head had become. I was truly blessed with his understanding, especially when he offered to help any way he could, knowing I’d fucked up the lives of men he held dear.
“You want a fresh cup.” Ruvash pointed to my mug. My response was a nonchalant shrug. Sighing, he took my mug and when he returned a few moments later with a fresh one, he gestured for me to follow him. I shook my head. “Get your ass off that sill now, Sianna.” I swung my legs off and dragged my feet to the bed. “Sit.” When I did as he asked, he set the cup between my linked fingers and reached for the hairbrush on my nightstand. “Drink,” he ordered.
While I sipped the coffee, he brushed my hair. Slow, even strokes meant to calm and relax. I felt everything but. “I still can’t believe how I fucked up, Ru.”
“You didn’t fuck up, sweetie, you fell in love. Everyone knows love makes you irrational at times.”
“Enough to cheat?”
“No. Enough to love two men.” He sighed, massaging my shoulders. “You’re too hard on yourself, sweetie.”
“I don’t want to be anything else, Ru.” I hiccupped on another sob—my throat burned from the hoarseness.
My phone rang. Ruvash reached across the bed for it and stared at the screen. “You want to take this. It’s Drake.”
