"You don't know what you're talking about," I gritted through clenched teeth as I struggled within what I now realized was some kind of gel liquid.
He tsked with his tongue. "Your mother lost many offspring. Not a one of them lived for longer than a few risings. But what many forget, my precious jewel, is that she wasn't the only one with loss. They were mine too. My offspring torn from my grasp as they burned too hot too soon, falling to moon fever before their loh were developed enough to survive. I had enough. Every offspring, she would harm herself further by removing a loh from her flesh. Try again, another loh would be removed, but bigger, more brutal of a sacrifice for each subsequent loss. I was losing more than an offspring each time. I was losing my mate slowly. Any further damage and she may have soon found herself unable to take in the moon's rays at all."
He paused then, and I barely pried my eyes open to see him watching me through thick gel and a viewing window to the healing pod I was in. His loh were still shattered, blue blood was still dripping down his flesh as he slumped in a chair, hooked up to tubes and a soft glowing light. I had injured him more than his voice betrayed. Lord Zorn appeared exhausted and near death while he spoke of the death of his offspring, and the woman who was obviously not my mother. My mother had all of her loh intact.
An intrusive voice in the back of my mind reminded me of the stories of the Almder herself, and how her very crown was made of tarnpul and her own flesh. It was adorned with several loh that much of the clan believed were from her offspring as a reminder of her loss, and perhaps the smaller ones were, but the larger ones would have been impossible to have come from a new offspring. As much as I hated to admit it, his story fit with what I knew of the Almder, the leader of Estreldez.
Lord Zorn continued, "I met with the medical staff to discuss ways of preventing any further offspring, and that was the rising she betrayed me. She had the medic subdue me as she removed my mating loh. I woke up on a ship, in the middle of nowhere, as I was being sold on the blue market to an outlaw on Sholonus that planned to gore out my loh to save her clan. She was under the impression that the radiation in my skin would burn out the disease in her mate. Her mate didn't last long enough for her to return. I considered killing her when I woke, but she wasn't alone. Vareo was with her, and I strangely could not leave him. He was mine. Everything in me said he was mine.
"Mine to protect, just as he is yours to protect as well."
I didn't understand what he was rambling on about. Mine to protect? After losing so many offspring, he must have snapped.
"As my daughter, you must carry on my legacy and protect the future of Estreldez through the shol. They are the key. The markings on their skin, they aren't fleas like us. They are the moon, not a parasite of it. It will take centuries to build up their population, but we must find another female shol to bond him with. When their numbers are stronger, we will integrate them with estrelds and the offspring will be cured. Future estrelds will rise from fleas to the gods. No longer beholden to the moons. Just being near a shol is like being near the moon's rays."
"I'm not your daughter," I said while struggling within the medical pod.
"Your mother knew I wouldn't let her continue to try for more offspring when she was destroying herself in the process. I thought she was punishing me for betraying her need for progeny, but she was taking what she needed and removing the obstacle towards her goals… me. Your mother's stubbornness is what I loved about her, because it meant she stopped at nothing to achieve great things."
"My mother had blue eyes," I objected.
He didn't even acknowledge what I was saying as he continued, "Don't get me wrong, I still have every intention of destroying her for what she did to me, but I have to admit that without her betrayal, we may never have found the solution to the moon sickness, or the increasing amount of estrelds with smaller, and decreasing number of loh. The clan relies on the Almder to help them absorb the moon's rays and mate. She uses this as her way of staying in power, but she knows that without offspring as strong as her, she will be the death of the clan. Reliance makes us weak. With the shol that will all be in the past.
"It's up to us, my jewel, to make sure Estreldez has a future. With you, and the power you showed at the Den, you can lead the clan to a better future. We must diversify our offspring to ween away from the dependency of our moons. The moon sickness will become a greater threat in the coming centuries. Our entire clan could become extinct if they cannot survive the darkness as the moons pull farther away. The moon's rays will become hotter and the dark side will become colder. Smaller loh could mean death for our clan. The tarnpul can only do so much. And we have bigger problems approaching our sector that may destroy our very planet, just as Sholonus was destroyed."
It was a lot to take in. You'd think I wasn't talking to the most notorious outlaw in the sector as he spoke of saving planets and preventing extinction.
His voice was ragged, exhausted as he said, "I don't tell many people this. I can't, because my reputation depends on not having reasons for what I do besides protecting my profits… my business. Revenge is the only thing I allow the universe to see. The darkness I must commit is all I allow them to see. Like your mother, I am a stubborn flea, unwilling to stand by and watch as my clan unravels. Sacrifices must be made, and I'll do whatever it takes to make sure there is a future… even if that means I must be the darkness that allows the light to be seen.
"Rest now, my jewel. There is much to do before you take over as Lord Zorn."
Take over?
"You've lost your mind," I choked out. The mask over my mouth and nose filled with a thick scent that smelled of burning metal and my eyes grew heavy as my muscles twitched.
"Genbi," he called out. "Prepare the airlock with the trill. We'll let my daughter do the honors of ending him after she wakes."
My heart sped up, thundering in my ears, but all that did was speed up whatever drug I was inhaling, and my mind was filled with nightmares of Yueril's body freezing before it explodes as I watched. Space was an unforgiving place, and I'd seen the same happen to a slave that launched himself out the airlock rather than being sent off to who knew where. He didn't have the same help that I did in escaping. I'll never forget the horror of that moment when I realized every slave died… it was just a matter of how.
I wouldn't let Yueril's story end in such a horrific way.
Chapter twelve
Hazel
AsIfeltthefog from my brain fade, I heard Genbi's voice, "Her vitals are stabilized…"
"But?" Lord Zorn could tell there was something he wasn't saying.
"But, her loh are damaged. She was weakened when she attacked you, and according to the tests on her radiation absorption, she will have to be returned to Estreldez sooner rather than later. She isn't holding onto the radiation like before. If you remove her from that chamber without being near the moons, or a radiation pack, she won't survive. She will have to live on Estreldez for the rest of her life, possibly carry a radiation pack with her in case of any disruption from the rays."
"She won't be capable of being the face of the Birds of Zorn…"
"No, My Lord."
A loud crash echoed through the chamber as Lord Zorn cursed. I would be lying if I wasn't relieved that he wasn't going to force me to be part of his outlaw organization, but a spike of fear made me wonder if he would really let me return to Estreldez… or if this was just another reason to kill me. I had no usefulness to him, even my loh were not worth extracting for sale if they couldn't hold radiation. He'd be better off throwing me out the airlock and into space like debris.
Time went by in silence until I finally processed that even if I lived and made it back to Estreldez, I would be an outcast. I've never lived with the clan. None of them knew me, and I would be reintroduced as someone who was damaged beyond repair. Self-pity almost made me ambivalent to whether I lived or died.
