She takes a deep breath and starts to eat, finally breaking the contact between us.
The rest of our meal is finished in silence. I try to act like I don’t notice the handful of times she looks at me out of the corner of her eye, but I’m sure she knows I have, because I was looking at her too.
She has the potential to be great. Those first few days after I pulled her from the river, I wasn’t sure what to expect. She looked so fragile hooked to that ventilator. I can’t deny the fear in her eyes when she looks at me, but I also can see the sparks trying to catch fire in there.
Her energy shifts when she stands her ground with me. I also sense it when it falters. She might be afraid when I tell her what I have in store for her, but I will make her stronger than she ever thought possible. When she finishes with her training, she will be unstoppable.
I look over at Ethan shoveling his third helping in his mouth. She never complains, but I’m sure Emma would like to have another woman around the beach house. She’s asked me about the girl for the last couple days, and I haven’t had much of an answer for her. She offered to bring her daughter and take over for Ethan here.
Unfortunately, I need him or myself to be the one to get her story from her now that I know at least part of what thegirl’s done. The less Emma and her daughter are involved in committing or covering up illegal activities, the better.
Chapter 12
Maya
Ethan added another helping of food before I could finish my first plate. I was already full, but now I am stuffed. I suppose that’s the point if they are trying to put weight on me.
Nick and Ethan are outside talking. I insisted on cleaning up the kitchen by myself. I have a whirlwind of emotions right now and I need a task to focus on while I think. I was scared to death when Nick showed up this morning. He intimidates me so bad, but it hasn’t been as bad as I expected. Everyone else seems nice and his mom is really funny.
I laughed again today. That might not seem much to many people but to me it’s an accomplishment. I’ve had more laughs in the last few days than I’ve had since Mama died.
Breakfast with Nick was interesting to say the least. No man has ever encouraged me to speak up and stand my ground with them and mean it.
My dad and his friends would dare me to do it but didn’t mean it in the way they said it. It was a means to manipulate me into falling for their trap so they could punish me for it.
“Whatcha got to say for yourself little girl?”
“Who the fuck do you think you’re talking too?”
“Talk to me like that again, I dare you.”
They humiliated and made a mockery of me.
As much as I want to believe that’s not the case here, my life has a track record of proving things too good to be true.
He called me a good girl for speaking my mind. I don’t even have the words to describe what that did to my insides. A shock to the core for sure. My insides felt like they were on fire, and not in a bad way.
And the prolonged skin to skin contact with him—I plan to revisit those thoughts at a later time.
Whatever he wants me to do undercover has got to be dangerous if I need self-defense training, right? I was too afraid to ask what my new role is going to be. It makes me wonder if he would offer me self-defense if he planned on hurting me. God only knows.
I’m optimistic, but also extremely cautious that things are starting to look up for me. I made a vow to myself to get out of the mess I made. If this is my opportunity to start a new life and have my freedom, I want to take it.
The butterfly that came to my room, I believe, was Mama’s way of saying she’s still here and looking after me. I just want to make her proud. I know she couldn’t stay, and I desperately wish there was a way I had a part of her to keep with me. My dad threw all her things away after she died.
I miss her so damn much some days it feels like my soul is screaming. Like literally trying to claw its way from my body to escape the pain. It’s utterly debilitating.
No kid should have to go through life without at least one parent who loves them wholly and unconditionally. I am thankful for the few short years I had Mama, even if I desperately wish I could’ve had more.
We can’t help situations that happen to us as children, but as adults, we can either let those circumstances make us or break us. I’m tired of being broken. I’m tired of being thevictim. For far too long my situations have been out of my control.
The night I finally decided enough was enough was pivotal for me—a crucial turning point. I should’ve died, but Nick Ryker was there to intervene. Fate has weird ways of playing things out sometimes.
I’m a prisoner, but to what extent? I have an opportunity to get an education like I’ve always wanted. I’m not sure what I want to go for because I honestly never thought I’d make it this far. He said he would let me go when I’m done with the job he wants me to do.
Freedom is one of the few things I ever wanted for myself. If it takes as long as he says, maybe he would let me get a second job so I can save enough money to get an apartment when I leave.
I don’t think I want to be a nurse like Mama was. I could study marine biology or something similar. I’ve always liked animals more than humans. You expect them to act like animals. Humans on the other hand, well…most of them don’t have the sense God gave them.
