He was losing me for good, and he knew it. Jax was reacting with cruelty because he no longer held anything over my head—at least, that’s what I was telling myself. I’d held up my end of the deal, and he could no longer pester me for any more money. The deal was done. Over. In the fucking past.
If he thought he’d get me down, he didn’t know a damn thing about me. Fuck him if he wasn’t a man of his word. Spencer would get the video down. I had a gut feeling.
Words were always just words. I’d been used to hate speech my whole life.
Growing up, my mom chose torment over lullabys. Instead of the sweet sounds of a mother’s voice calming me before bed, I cried and tried my hardest not to believe the punishing words she’d fed me for every meal at such a young age.
You should have never been born.
No dinner for you tonight—you’re carrying baby fat.
You’re a waste of space.
She trained me young.
After years of hearing the way my mom felt about her own flesh and blood, I grew thick skin. As I got older, I knew it was just the drugs talking. I had to convince myself that was the reason. But if Jax really thought that I was a burden on his life,he could have cut me loose years ago. He didn’t have to drag me through the mud in order to make himself feel better.
Even on my weakest days, I’d made it through. I was so much stronger than that asshole gave me credit for.
Sure, this would probably hit me later when my head hit the pillow. Afterall, I was only human.
But for now, I wanted to push the dark feelings down and get lost in the first man who had ever shown his appreciation for who I was.
“You have gotto be fucking kidding me.” Without aim, I threw the stress ball I’d been squeezing for the duration of this conversation across the room.
Before I left the office today, I was determined to get the video taken down for Avery. My team had been working tirelessly on making it happen and giving me the play by play every day.
“I’m sorry, Mr. Russo.” My lawyer exhaled from the other end of the phone.
“This can’t be right. Check again,” I ordered through clenched teeth.
“We have verified one hundred times over. Unfortunately, the IP address for the original video uploaded has been traced back to Jackson’s phone and address.”
My face paled and my skin clammed as I began to sweat profusely through my sports coat.
“Make sure the video is taken care of. I will handle Jackson.” I tore my coat off and pulled on the tie around my neck, loosening it so I no longer felt like I was suffocating.
“Consider it done, sir.”
“Fuck,” I grumbled as I hung up.
I held my phone so tightly in my fist it threatened to break.
What should have been a night to celebrate a moment Avery had been waiting for years to happen, was a complete and utter shitshow.
The video was being taken down as we speak.That was supposed to be the end of it.
There was an unnerving connection to all of this. A connection I couldn’t fucking wrap my head around. I hoped with everything inside of me thatmyJackson andherJax weren’t the same person. But the way the facts were lining up, it only told me that my son was a piece of shit, and there was so much more to the story than I think even Avery knew.
Could my son really have fucked up this bad? Could he really have done something so far fucked that even I was ashamed to call him my own flesh and blood?
I poured two fingers of bourbon from my crystal decanter and tipped it back. The burn sliding down my throat was nothing compared to the way my heart stung for Avery.
From the moment she had confided in me and told me all about her shitty ex, the money she owed, the video on the internet, I swore to myself if I ever met this guy, I would finish him. I dreamed of ruining his life. I visualized a life with me and Avery in Vegas without him anywhere near us—even without knowing who the guy was. I fantasized using every penny to my name to send this guy away for good—to clear his name from ever existing.
If my son was really the villain behind all this whole thing, could I do even an ounce of what I’d spent my nights dreaming of?
How could I even begin to tell Avery? She’d leave me. She wouldn’t want anything to do with me.
