“Most people that had a hard upbringing like I did wouldwantto have children—give them the life they never had. For me, I couldn’t fathom bringing a child into a world as fucked as this one. Even if I was successful and could give the kid the world. What if I left this world too early like my parents did, and my kid would never know stability? What if that kid got bullied relentlessly and never told me—tried to deal with it all on their own? What if my child took their life because living in this world got too hard? I’d never be able to forgive myself for not knowing.”
Pausing from my rant, I took a deep breath.
“Sorry, I know that was a lot. I think all the,‘What ifs,’over time have compounded, and when it comes down to it, I’ve just realized it’s not the path for me.”
“You’re a strong woman, Avery. To know what you want in life, no matter what it is, it’s one reason why I’ve fallen in love with you so quickly.” His lips grazed along mine. The kiss wasn’t quick, but not too long either. His mouth lingered on mine justlong enough to reassure me that this love we had for each other was real. It was ours.
We weren’t due back to Vegas until tomorrow morning, which meant we had all day to do whatever we wanted. Even if we were out of town, with an entirely new city to explore at my disposal, I couldn’t think of anything I’d rather do than lie here with the man I loved. Hanging out with my girls for my birthday was a tradition—one that may look a little different now. While they cured their hangover on a private flight back home, it was just me and Spencer for the next twenty-four hours.
Endless pillow talk. Room service. His body on mine.
Today may just be my new favorite day, too.
It’d beena while since I checked on Ol’ Red. Sure enough, she was still standing.
Same parking spot.
No damage.
Just as I’d left her.
A few days ago, we came home from Denver, and I went right back to working my normal pool shifts. This time with an extra pep in my step, knowing that when my shift was over, I wouldn’t have to work another job or ever think about it again. Instead, my evenings would be filled with quiet moments on the balcony with my boyfriend, take-out and a movie, fancy dinners, or whatever we were in the mood for without a damn thing weighing us down.
But today was Tuesday. My day off. I hadn’t had an entire day off—outside of my trip to Denver—in as long as I could remember.
While Spencer was at the office, I decided to check up on Ol’ Red. Try to figure out what to do with her next. Even though I was feeling confident in our relationship, and that he wouldn’tthrow me out on my ass, there was a small part of me deep down that wasn’t ready to move her into storage anytime soon.
This small plot of land with my parked van may not be anything compared to life at the penthouse, but it still felt like a safe space. A small slice of comfort. A part of my history that made me,me.
After unlocking the door, I slid it open, ducked my head, and took a seat on my bed.
The familiar scent of lavender incense surrounded me. My plants that were once thriving had seen better days. And although it felt familiar, it only caused me to reflect on how much had changed in the last month.
Ol’ Red was my past and Spencer was my future.
Now that I had a day off, and the craziness from my birthday weekend had passed, I had one last thing to do in order to fully put my past behind me.
I pulled out my phone, the weight of it sitting heavy in my hands as I reflected on the last time Jax had texted me. I sat in this very spot.
My fingers froze and chills ran over my spine.
You’re in control this time, Avery.
I had the money to pay him off—thanks to Spencer—and this should all be over with the second I press send. Itwouldbe behind me. I never had to see or think of Jax again. He would be just another puzzle piece from my past.
Working up the courage, I drafted out a text and pressed send before I could think twice.
Me: Hi Jax, I went to the bank this morning and set up a few wires to be delivered over the next couple of weeks. The remaining balance for what I owe you should be to you in no time.
There was nothing I could do now.
My hands shook as the anticipation sank in. I watched the bubbles on the screen immediately appear, and just seconds after, a text flashed on my screen.
Jax: Where the hell did you get that kind of money so fast?
Of course, he couldn’t just say thank you and move on.
Me: Doesn’t matter. And it’s none of your business. You have your money. Now I’d appreciate it if you could get that video taken down.
